A Shift In The Curve: Going From Being Provided For, To Being A Provider
Adulting is very challenging and expensive because it is a stage where you'll need money to satiate almost every need in your life. To graduate from being provided to being independent and then to being the provider is what no one subconsciously prepares for.
Of course, people often relive moments in their childhood when they had at least 80% of what they wanted simply by asking. Everyone misses when they had to always get things by default of being the responsibility of another person. Originally one of the reasons is that leaving the dependency stage is very difficult.
Dependency is A Comfort Zone
Naturally, a lot of people are underappreciative when they're ignorant of the efforts that go into the process of providence. this is because it's always easy to be at the receiving end, sometimes people often underestimate being at the receiving end because they do not understand the effort it takes for the person who is at the other end striving to make money.
Make no mistake, making money is the most difficult thing in life, this is because, in the process of money-making, we're left with having to sacrifice some of our essences. It might be health, time, effort, or skills. However, being a provider becomes even more difficult especially when the provider goes through difficulties, and sacrifices too much to provide.
Losing Is What Makes Gaining Valuable
The Money Sacrifice: Giving Off An Essence
Some people are termed stingy because they're too clingy with their money. However, I tend to think no one is clingy to money, circumstances and some substantial factors are some of the reasons why people choose to be clingy to money. For example, having too little means but more needs hibernates one from being a manager of resources
When I was younger, my aunt was the main provider in the family, her job was virtually paying her little and she had about four mouths to feed including me. She had this set of ingredients she used in cooking because they were very cheap, we hated these ingredients, but because we couldn't feed ourselves, we didn't have the option but to eat them like that.
The Fear Of Having Nothing Revives The Management Skills In Us
Back then, no one really praised the management skills of my aunt. The economic situation was dire, but she found a financial solution to fix a niggling economic problem. We underappreciated her efforts to an extent until we had to become independent and became providers at some point.
Back when I was doing my lower diploma, I had this girlfriend who I often gave some money to support her practical projects. The money was quite meager but that was what I could afford, she often complained so hard about how the money was too small. Naturally, it was small, but she underappreciated my efforts in sorting out my needs with the limited means I had and still managed to squeeze out some to foot at least 10% of her school expenses.
Incuring More Needs In The Face Of Scarcity
In reality, I didn't blame her, when people don't work for the money they're getting, at a point, they grow tired of getting that same amount of money because they're invariably creating more needs as they go and this is the same with almost everyone unless we've learned to curtail it.
There are things we do when we don't have money, and one of them is finding reasons to see the futility in our needs. For example, someone who wants a sweater badly because of the cold might just remember the cold will last only for one month or more. So they'll rather live in that discomfort for one month, not because they want to but because they've channeled the resources for that need into something else.
This means that we're subconscious calculator
........our minds are always weighing in odds, creating a scale of preferences, living the consequences of opportunity costs simply because it's very of limitations in funds. In reality, adulting comes with sacrifices, intentionality, and doggedness, if not we might just fail at it.
I for one, value the experiences I had as an adolescent, even if I didn't appreciate them back then, I guess it was inexperience that played a role in that. Overall, we have to translate our bits of knowledge to the younger generations, by relying on them how difficult it is to graduate from being dependent to being independent, let alone being a provider. This might not make their adulting endeavors rather easy, but it'll prepare them for inexplicable expectations.
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Adulting comes with sacrifice. When I started providing for myself, I realized how tough it was for our parents to cater for our needs and I understood them that it wasn't their fault when we asked for money and they couldn't give us. They have many needs to attend to and here I am today, walking in the same path.
I thought I have needs for myself and my two younger siblings until when my cousin who is now in the University is looking up to me to send something to her. I only told her to keep praying for me. Lol
I am already telling my younger siblings to be prepared for adult life because they cannot keep depending on I and their elder siblings to cater for them but to be independent on their own too. They have to be prepared because being provided for cannot continue forever.
I have been providing for myself for over ten years now, but simultaneously I was still being provided for, so it was easy for me to be able to understand and distinguish the challenges and hence, I was able to balance the idea that being a provider is an easy job. It was difficult for me to achieve, but I eventually got it done.
It was good the way you addressed your siblings, so they'll prepare ahead as well.
Amazing... 10 yrs of doing that and I can see it's not something that is difficult for you since you have been able to understand and balance it well.
Thank you 😊
Immediately I see people don’t appreciate the little I am doing sometimes I withdraw it and after some time they realize my little actual worth it, when we are used to one thing that is how it get.
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Exactly, I believe others should value the worth of other people, because sometimes when it's taken away, this is when it becomes overly appreciated.
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Do you ever eat those four ingredients now??? I think eventually I would be skipping meals if I had such a diet!
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I don't eat such meals anymore. I think I've come to that point where I look back at all that limitation and be appreciative of people who made sacrifices for me back then.
Oh definitely, it's much better than starving! And it probably motivated you to try even harder for success as well.
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We don't know how it feels until we are in the position, our parents and your aunt in this case did great. I recall those days as well when not every day was rosy and eating the nicest meals, some days were tough and my parents had to come up with something, I observed in my teenage days but only started to feel what they feel now that I am independent.
I can only imagine when the likes of us start to raise a family.
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It actually gets to a time in life when you feel like going back to when you weren't under the pressure of responsibilites. Having kids is a no mean feat, the responsibilities of training a child is not easy.
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We never thought that this time would ever come. It is so surprising how far we have come, to being the provider. Indeed Adulthood isn’t as easy as we thought growing up. I can remember that all we thought as kids was the freedom that comes with adulthood, little did we know that this freedom comes with its challenges and difficulties.
It's difficult to transition from being provided for to being the provider, I think it's all stages that we eventually get to in life. Being a provider is difficult.. it's even more difficult when one wasn't prepared for it, it's quite difficult.
I wonder if those who go without when they are younger can appreciate more the value of money when they are older. When everything is given to you, you have little appreciation for it if you didn't work hard to get it for yourself.
I think this is why we need to create a better balance, I was happy I wasn't given everything. I had to struggle for a lot in life and I'm happy that I'll instill this knowledge of I'm opportuned to have kids.
I wish there was a written manual on how to transition from dependent to independent. It would've saved me a lot of trouble and setbacks. But I think that's the gist of it, we each have to go through it to know what it really is about and most of us in the current generation are rarely guided when making the trasition. Between the two is like night and day, totally different concepts and mentality.
I think there's no way to property transition, it's a journey we never really subconsciously prepare for. However, it's best for one to not just be adequate prepared for in just material need but mental sufficiency. But nevertheless the hope is to not let it swallow us whole.
It's hard to consider things but looking back, my parents did a very good job when money was tight. It's not as bad now and I don't have to worry but they found a solution for everything. Growing your own vegetables helped and I am honestly sick of eating oranges because the orange tree in front of the house always has a ton of them.
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Hahaha, we ourselves had mango trees in front of our houses, my aunt managed everything pretty well. In the Sense that we had good diets, but it wasn't sophisticated or anything special.
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Ouch. Mangos spoil faster than oranges so if there is a surplus then you must be sick of eating them so often. I do agree that nutrition wasn't that big of an issue though.
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If we finished our education and have jobs it's time for us to be provider now. Helping my parents with their needs even if they don't ask is my happiness. Likewise, if we have our family and get married we must see to it that we can provide everything. Or simply that is adulthood. This article reminds me of our responsibility and not getting any younger anymore and being the so-called provider.
I gifted $PIZZA slices here:
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When you are a child you get the things you want more easily.
However, I believe that, even for a discussion of education, we should get used to earning things from childhood so as to be able to assign the right value to everything and every need.
Thank you so much for sharing!