A life Of Minimalism: The Cost Of Living In The Past
I've always prided myself as a minimalist, at 26 I still didn't see it as a problem living with my aunt. She's the closest relative I had, even if my now deceased parents were estranged. It's probably because I partially relied on her for OTC treatments whenever I fell ill. However, living with her taught me to spend within a particular range.
At 22 I was still asking her to buy me clothes from the market, even at 25, she could control the number of female visitors I could bring in. She claimed it was because women are naturally maximalists, exuberant and when I begin to bring them in numbers, I'll increase the number of birthday gifts I'll buy, I'll need to buy more airtime, I'll have to spend some extra dollar on haircut, clothes, and deodorants.
She wasn't wrong. When I was 22, looking good was serious business
I could cut my hair once a week, and I knew ladies who spend ridiculous figures to get their hair done. My girlfriend then was attracted to pretty things and I had to keep up with appearances or risk losing her, since this was a burden, I didn't see the need to relieve myself of that burden.
Of course, her family was rich and lived in a big house. I still gave her money from my income then, even if she already had all the money it is to have. I didn't tell my aunt because she wouldn't consent to give a rich girl money when I was barely surviving. She (my aunt) controlled her I spent my salary back then, there was always a portion I had to deposit in my bank account, and there was a percentage I kept for food and clothing.
The way it was, there wasn't any room for the extravaganza. But the thing is, I didn't exactly tell her how much I earned, but I still spent the portion I never tell her about on my girlfriend, on clothes, and on, of course, the ridiculous nature of keeping a sweet haircut. So if I was going to be their son-in-law (my girlfriend) then I had to look average and not poor or hungry as I was.
I didn't ask about her background before falling in love with her, but not being acquainted with that knowledge ruined me. The thing is, I was always spending my extra income with her because I was simply happy to be with her. It wasn't like she didn't buy me gifts, she did, but I could remember shopping for shoes for her. Whenever I looked back, I didn't feel I was a fool, I only thought that I was raised by an extremely frugal woman (my aunt) but she didn't exactly know I lived an extravagant life with my salary.
She probably still feels I haven't misspent any cent I earned and she was proud of this.... Who I became. It wasn't like I spent this money on myself, If I did she could have noticed. For example, she raised an eyebrow I bought a silver wristwatch. (Not completely silver, but maybe 0.1% silver) she would prefer I buy a leather wristwatch since I was only using it to check the time and not going for a modeling gig.
Everything I spent on had to serve a purpose and be cheap as well as serve its value but because she was better at discerning I majorly told gave her some part of my earnings to buy me clothes. But the part of my salary that she didn't know about was spent ostentatiously. I think I learned those values, but it was compromised because I had to live up to my girlfriend's standards.
The Uneasy Standard
Her mother was wealthy and owned houses, she easily attracted rich kids of her age, and this was hurting to me. Sometimes I wished she was poor so we could be both bottom class. But I couldn't teach her to live minimally like me. Instead, I was forced to live like her to the detriment of my income. However, at 22, one would think I could have been wiser, but at that age, most people my age were misguided.
Kids whose parents were rich aggrandized the status of their parents, instead of living low key most kids would live big, throw parties and wear expensive shoes. This wasn't me. I wore my clothes responsibly, washed them, used deodorants, and made sure to take my multivitamins and I came out quite differently. But my aunt redefined minimalism, and she made sure I looked affordably attractive where others were looking expensively overrated. Since I was always angry she did that, she threatened to throw me out if I didn't succumb.
These days I don't think some people want to appear expensive.
Why?
The inflated situation of the country makes people run away from unnecessary discrepancies when I was 22, the value of the Nigerian naira to the dollar was decent and one could earn and afford to still live big if they want. It's more expensive to do almost everything at the moment and even people who didn't have a disciplined lifestyle are not being forced to adapt.
In reality, I was saddened to be raised the way I was, but I came from humble beginnings and was fortunate to be raised by the right people. My aunt allowed me to display some exuberances, but discipline always prevailed at the end of the day. Today, I can say I've lived that life of minimalism and honestly it's been a lesson, I don't know if you can relate.
Interested in some more of my works?
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I wish I could talk to my younger self and explain life to him. I'd tell him to take steemit seriously. I'd tell him the $0.1 spread across 365 days would be better than the trade I was into then. I had no choice than to be minimalist...a lot was going on at home and I was in medical school struggling to make it through.
I wish I had an aunt like yours...its weird if shes the one who asked you to take a loan to get married...but that's life.
I wish I had a job in medical school I could do with the 75% attendance we had to keep up.
All the same...life is either good now or it will be good.
She wasn't the one who asked me to take a loan to get married the one who asked me to do that was my maternal aunt. The one I am talking about practically raised me.
I I talked to my younger self, my life would be different, I'd certainly not get into the mess I got myself these days. I had a lot of things I could regret, but then, life treats us differently. As for steemit. I think everything is chance.
No one knows tomorrow and this is why we should try everything, never thinking it'll fail.
Oh ok...I like that you have both of them be a part of your life. I hardly know mine.
I'm trying right now...but I'm usually not sure if its my best. Right now I'm looking for friends and a part of myself that will hold me accountable to my journey and the direction I'm going.
Give me your aunt, let me marry her biko 😅😂. I believe she is the type that would be given money and she would know how to manage it very well.
I liked the way she raised you, and I would love to raise my kids like that. But me, my eye like shining things oh 😂😂😂😂
Your eyes like shinning things too much and we have discussed that it isn't too good sha 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Well, I think having the right disciplined people is good to raise us disciplined and responsible children as well. I think this should be one of one's goals in life as well.
Hopefully the wife you'd marry would have these values.
I wanted to hear how the story ended with the girl 🙋, and I think I will get it subsequently.
Your aunt did well by giving you a good standard at least you didn't get to live below standard though your parents were no more.
Thanks for this great share
Hahaha well, if you want to hear the ending part of the story with the girl, I'd like to let you know that it didn't end well with the girl and it ended atrociously and bitterly for me, but I loved the experience I garnered.
Hahaha, thank God you learned anyways
Wow this story
It's looks like story of the princess and the hunter 😂
But you know what? if you really love someone and think they should know everything about you, i know that part trying to live up to her standard so you don't lose her but then will she be able to stay if you got no money.
I think what your aunty was trying to do and teach you was....live the best of your life but don't fake it and don't live about your income.
This is in this generation. But then I knew a lot of people who had to pride their possession in order to actually get a spouse. It's always about your enablements and what you can offer back then, I'm talking about 2010, 2012 and all. The culture back then was totally different. However I totally understand what you mean. Hahaha the story of the princess and the hunter. I think you've read so many Story books
It was quite long ago, i understand am sure you won't do again with your current girlfriend and yeah i read alot of story books, i remember when i do exchange storybooks in school to read new ones
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Reading through your minimalism story it's obvious I could relate very well except for the fact that you are a guy of course.
While growing up, I always tried to maintain a minimal lifestyle not really because I was trained to but just because I just hate unnecessary spending. My dad is a very good maximalist, he always complains he does not have any money but he still ends up getting things that sometimes I feel they are not necessary.
I do spend money but I always want it to be on something that is worth it. In fact some times I just give out my money because I know if it was left for me, I always feel satisfied with what I have. Sometimes I feel like I am cursed though, lolz.
Say what? Repeat this part again. Like explain.... I didn't get it.
Hahaha, like I have to borrow the money out to someone to make use of it or else it will just be there 😂😂, Instead of it just being there when there is someone in need that of it that I know of.
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Looool a maximalist is even more, maybe your dad just fancied more things and it came with that particular generation of his. My dad too was like that and it ruined him a lot, but I think, we're the newer generations and we're learning even better.
Sometimes we cannot even really maintain our Minimalist life and let it define us unless we've had the money to fund our excesses, sometimes our true lifestyles are only evident when we have money.
I think you are right, it came with that age and it's so sad that some in this generation are still following in their steps.
Having money in our possession is what truly defines us whether or not we are maximalist or minimalist.
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You have a wonderful aunt. I can see from your story that she is training you to live within your means. I've seen a lot of young adults that are currently misguided and spend most of their money for unnecessary vacations and other stuffs just to look cool to other people. Leaving them broke, in deep debt, and penniless.
On the other hand, I can also relate to your story. I smiled as I remember the past and what I did when I was your age. 😊
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im glad your aunt raised you the way you did. my family is poor, My parents worked so hard to make me and my other three siblings to go to school and finish college. I admit, I only had a very few brand-new clothes; most of them are hand-me-downs and are from the thrift. But the good thing is that I did not fell in love with someone like you did.
I don't even know what to call myself because I save alot and I spend alot. When I'm determined to get things done I do it no matter what, I will go hungry and look broke, I don't care what you say. I'm a minimalist but a crazy one.
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I understand how you feel because I didn't really get much allowance as a kid. So I felt left out when I couldn't really buy stuff as other kids could. It's hard but we can't really control that part of our lives.
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You're right, we cannot control that part of our lives. Not having much isn't totally bad. I think there's bliss with having little or nothing.