BEST GIFT: Our greatest joy and the source of our smiles.

Hello Hiver friends! I'm @saijan19 and this is my first time sharing a blog here in this community. I'm already a mother of two adorable children. So please allow me to share my journey of becoming one. My life lessons and many more. As I discover this community, I felt excitement to share my story about being a mother and how I handle things from day one of becoming a mother until now ❤️.

As I found out that I was pregnant to my first born, I had mix emotions because it was not really planned, I'm happy that I have been blessed to have a baby and at the same time I also feel worried because of what the future may bring. I prayed to God for this blessing to give me strength and I'm also thankful to my husband for his continuous support to me.

The very first month of my pregnancy was not easy. My taste buds became worse and I always vomit what I ate, I became worried because I lose so much weight that time and My OB-gynae gave me some medication to not affect the health of my baby. I always have a monthly check-up to ensure that me and my baby was safe. When I reached my second trimester, I was shocked to what the doctor said. The position of my baby is breech wherein the possibility of delivering my baby to normal is 50%. I asked if that would be the final position but my doctor said that it can still be changed with proper exercise. Every day I prayed to God for a normal and safe delivery and How great our God for hearing my prayers.

July 26,2022 at 4:15 am my first born welcomes the world. He was named as Ethan Sammuel.The moment I saw and hear him cry was the best feeling that I had, all the pain in my labor and delivering my baby vanished for an instant. It was like a magic. The new chapter of my life begins.

Everything was first to me and it was a great help that my husband was always there. The first months having a baby was not easy, Sleepless nights, changing diapers and breastfeeding. Even if the routine was like the same everyday. I learn and I really become patient taking care of my baby, it was not a job but an obligation. I also make sure to be gentle, especially when carrying him. So small but plays a big part of my life which is our bundle of joy.

There are times, I feel doubtful to myself, if I'm doing the right thing for my baby, I was overwhelmed and pressured as a first time mom, there's so much to learn and I can't consume it just for one day. So I really tried my best to have a room for discovering how to become the best mom for the sake of my children.

After 4 months, I was shocked by the news that my doctor said, I had a check-up because I didn't have my period for the couple of months after giving birth. The doctor said that I was 2 months pregnant, again. I feel like I will collapsed, anytime. I feel sorry for my first born, for myself. I was still recovering my body but here I am pregnant again. It was all my fault because sometimes I forget to take my contraceptive. That time, I didn't tell my husband what the news about. I feel ashamed, I was crying everyday, asking God to help me become courageous and tell my husband. I seek advice to a close friend first, I was really scared and she said that I must tell it earlier to my husband and my family because if not, it will complicate things. Also it will affect the health of my baby on my womb. Before telling to my family and my husband, I had prayed hard to God, I know everything happens for a reason and a purpose.

I talked to him after a week of knowing the news that I'm pregnant again. I cried and hug him first, he was asking why I'm like that, I took a deep breath and told him the news. At first he was lost of words, I started to cry even harder but he hug me tightly and said that everything would be fine. He said that another blessing is coming our way. That time, the burden of not telling him was lifted and he said that we must accept it because it was a blessing in disguise.

I was 7 months pregnant here and my first born was only 9 months old. I was also thankful that I had a family to lean on. They helped me take care of my baby because my second pregnancy was sensitive. My doctor said that I can't be able to have a normal delivery this time. Again I seek God for guidance to me and my baby the second time around.

June 18, 2023, just a day before my birthday. My second baby was born through cesarean section. He was named Emmanuel which means "God is with us". The same feeling I had when I first held my first born. Even if it was my second time giving birth. The feeling was nostalgic because I think of my first born that time, He was not with me and he was still a baby and I had to take care of my second first. My first born was being taken good care of my aunt that time because I had to regain my strength from the operation.

It was hard for me because there are times that my first born wants to be held by me but I can't because I was told by the doctor not to force myself carrying a weight more than my new born. I also cried because as a mother It was hard to see your children cry. My husband encourage me by the thought that days would just passed by and soon I can carry him again but this time I need to be strong for my babies. I will regain my strength again.

Right now, as the years had passed, Everyday I'm thankful to God for this two blessings that we had. Some days may not be the same, but every minute, every second of my life was not the same as before because right now, it was filled with so much joy, laughter and smile. They are my ray of sunshine, my hope in everything. My journey as a mother is like a roller coaster road. There are days that I want to give up, but more days that I'm hopeful because of my children.

I may not be the best mother in the world, but I make sure that I would be the best mom to them. I still learn new things as a mother. I may stumble and fall but I know that God will give me strength every day of my life.

That's all for today my dear Hiver friends. till' next blog.

Sincerely,
@saijan19

Some photos uploaded are edited by CANVA