The Things I Agreed To Before I Understood the Cost

For a very long time, I said yes to almost every request that needed me to volunteer. Some projects do not even need my help. Church committee. The person who would do something when no one is ready to do it.

And maybe I said yes to a lot of those things because I was available, maybe because I cared too much, or maybe the spirit in me just wanted to solve those problems I knew nothing about. And I have eventually examined what the last reason happens to be.

And yes, I was not forced or pressured. And this is somehow to me because it feels very awkward for me to explain. It was something very subtle because I was not pressured. And that expectancy had to pause after a request because the way people always look in my direction, especially when no one is ready to volunteer.

The quiet assumption that “he will always do it; he is available.” I did this for a long while before I finally realized that it was costing me something very real.

At some point, I had to stop volunteering myself in a default way. Do not get me wrong. I still care very much. But at that point, I got to realize that the same energy I have been putting in for others is consuming me, and putting that same energy into my life will matter to my own growth.

For a while, those two things were in competition in my life before I finally stood my ground. I had to say no to always volunteering myself, not because I became selfish. But because I got to realize that it is the most honest answer I can give for my own progress too.

Thank you for reading.

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