The Last Person to See It

Recently, someone told me that I have changed and I am now distant from her. I laughed, because I didn't even believe what she said. In me, and when I looked at myself, I was still me, trying to navigate through life, not afraid to make mistakes, always ready to be corrected. But she keeps saying no.

Some few people also said this too because I shared it on my WhatsApp status. Not in a dramatic way, though, just in a friendly way that was compiled together until I had to sit honestly with the notion that all of them were seeing something that I had missed about myself.

And that is something strange about growth. People around me saw it first before I saw it. I was the one inside the change, and I was the last person to see it. I was just very busy navigating life and trying to survive the process to notice what it has been doing quietly to my voice, face, and the way I approach people and even handle things.

I think this was deliberately arranged by God. Assuming I saw my transformation before others did, I might have turned it into a performance instead of continuing the journey. The people around me became the mirror that I never asked for.

And to be honest, when I look at it, I discover that one of the most honest things people can offer me is just a simple observation of seeing me even when I cannot.

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