Friendship by Choice, Not by Chance

When it comes to friendship, I believe that we do choose our friends—at least in my case, that’s exactly how it works. I don’t just become friends with someone because they happen to be around or because we were put in the same group or class. For me, it’s always been about observing people, getting to know them on a personal level, and then deciding whether or not I want them in my space.

Before I consider anyone a friend, I usually take some time to really understand who they are. I don’t rush into friendships. I prefer to first have a few conversations with the person, watch how they interact with others, and pay attention to how they carry themselves. Even small things like the way they speak, how they treat people, or even how they dress can say a lot about someone’s character. I try to look beyond the surface and really see if the person aligns with my values and personality.

One big thing for me is behavior. I’m very intentional about surrounding myself with people who are well-mannered and respectful. I’m not necessarily talking about being perfect, but I just don’t like getting close to people who are rude, dramatic, or always caught up in negativity. Life is already complicated, and I prefer to keep my circle positive and peaceful.

Another important factor is personality. I don’t do well with people who are too serious all the time. I’m someone who genuinely enjoys laughing, having light-hearted conversations, and just enjoying the little moments in life. So naturally, I’m drawn to people who are free-spirited, playful, and don’t take everything to heart. I like friends who can joke around, be silly, and not get offended over small things. That’s the kind of energy I try to maintain around me.

So to answer the question—no, I don’t think circumstances choose my friends. I choose them. It’s not about who happens to be kind to me or who I’m forced to interact with. It’s more about who I click with, who makes me feel comfortable, and who brings joy into my life. I believe that friendship should be intentional, not accidental.

In the end, I think choosing your friends is about knowing yourself—knowing what you need, what you enjoy, and what kind of energy you want to keep around you. For me, it’s never been about convenience or obligation. It’s always been a choice.

Thanks for reading.