We May Be Products of Pain, But Not Its Messengers
The Circle of pain! A disease of the mind I will say.
The act of transferring aggression and pains most times doesn't mean people are malicious, they are just broken. Even though that doesn't cut the fact that they are inflicting damage which can't be undone to the innocent people around them because it's just like inheriting a debt you know nothing about.
I don't think it's strange to you whenever you hear that a particular boy or girl who's currently a bully was bullied sometimes in the past neither are you surprised hearing someone who was ridiculed in the past now eats ridiculing others as a career. In the same way, a lady whose love was abused or taken for granted by a guy she meant suddenly develops tough skin and might become even too harsh to the later guys that genuinely love her.
Pain is a feeling that most times should be released and then sometimes it becomes so bad that the innocent souls suffer the hit. Most times,it's never deliberate but just an attempt to mask old wounds.
Talking about accountability? I think yes, they are accountable, I mean, we all are accountable for all our actions and inactions. I know someone might try to make a point here that because their preceding event triggered their current behaviour but then, I think we all have got choices.
If everyone that was bullied, ridiculed or taken for granted starts doing so to everyone they come in contact with, I think it'll be a crazy place to be. This is to say that people have been traumatized with these acts in the past but they still found a way to overcome that trauma and were good citizens of the world.
There's always a choice I think and in this context,The one who continues the cycle has a choice: to stop and heal or to pass it on. Responsibility lies in recognizing that though we may not control what was done to us, we control what we do to others.
The journey of forgiveness in this case actually starts from the oppressor. It's so hard asking for forgiveness for something you will do just few days after forgiving the one you did a week before. Recognising that you're just transfering aggression from your traumatized past and working on stepping up to be better is the first step of forgiveness because this is where it makes sense for mercy to play role alongside this responsibility to be better.
Accepting to change might sometimes need something drastic, some might even opt in for therapy sessions with psychologist having an open conversation about it whereas others are lucky enough that just having the humility to admit one’s flaws is enough to get them back on track.
In summary, the truth remains that there's never a justification as to why someone else should suffer because you suffered but then, for this vicious cycle of transferring pain to stop, someone has to break it with Mercy! The question then becomes, who would that be?
We may be products of pain, but we do not have to be its messengers.
Thanks for reading and have a nice day ahead 👍
We shouldn't let our trauma decide who we are or what we become, while it's understandable that it can be disheartened, we must take measures to heal, rather than doing same to others.