The Stigma That Tried to Silence Me

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Stigma is part of life, and everyone faces such experiences or moments. As individuals, we go through a lot due to what others have said about us. While some wouldn't even feel bad about it but keep moving and never minding them, others would take it so personally, and before you know it, they have taken their lives or perhaps lived in isolation for years, and it will take a deep and intentional intervention to bring them out of such a dilemma.

I don't think anyone hasn’t faced stigma in their lives, whether from family, friends, or even in society. I faced such with my family, and for years, I allowed that to affect who I am and became so shy around people because I would always think about what they said, believing what they said was true. The fact that it came from those I am closest to made it worse, and even if an outsider said the same thing, I knew it was true.

Before my mom died, she would stigmatise me with one defect in my body, and though she was right and also wanted a solution for me, at that time, I felt it was something out of my control and that I was born with it, so, why should there be a solution? Besides, there were times I blamed my parents, too, since they couldn't do the needful when I was a baby, and it was when I grew up they started noticing it vividly and finding ways to make it normal.

Whenever my mom used that word against me, I would feel bad, but within me, I knew she was trying to help me, but it was already too late. Why couldn't she see that? It became worse when the same thing was said by other family members, and this would keep me indoors. I would be too shy to walk around any of them unless they were out of sight, which would make me walk freely without them stigmatising me.

I felt so worthless. Fear and shame took over me, and it led me to not have access to certain opportunities because that very word would keep ringing in my head, making me feel anxious, and because of this, I would take a step backwards from taking such an opportunity. Perhaps if I had gotten people to encourage me, then my life would have been different and also in a better place, but this stigmatization caused a deep deal in me.

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As I grew up and learnt to fight for myself, I started embracing who I am. I started ignoring those hurtful words said to me and felt unconcerned and unbothered anymore. When they saw that their words weren't disturbing to me, they brought me closer and loved me as they should. Now, I can be around even with my defect and walk past them without them saying anything bad, and with this, I feel much safer around them.

I understood that God created me that way for a purpose, and I believe I'm wonderfully made. So, whatever anyone says again doesn't move an inch on me. I see myself for who I am and who I need to be. It became something I started learning to accept my whole being and appreciate everything God has created in me.

One thing about stigma is how it makes an individual develop anxiety, leaving them to not associate with people or even form relationships. It leads to low self-esteem and a feeling of hopelessness and worthlessness. All of these affected me for years until I decided to change that. I stopped feeling worthless and loved myself more. With this, those who stigmatised me then came to love me better, and I live happily today.