Family, Growth, and the Wisdom to Let Go

How easy it is to cut off ties with a habit that keeps getting you stuck on your journey of personal growth. How easy it is to let go of friends and acquaintances that do not want to see you progressing in life; all they ever do is push you back and speak negative words to you just to keep you stuck, and once you discover that, you don’t waste time before you cut them off.

Sometimes it happens gradually until they are off your list, and other times, it just happens once and the bond between you guys ends at that spot. Trust me, doing this doesn’t hurt for a long time, even though you might feel the emptiness for a while.

However, when it comes to family, it’s the hardest, because at that point, one would have to think it over again, so they aren’t making a big mistake, because in the end, family is family. We will definitely need each other when the time comes.

But then, what happens when they aren’t seeing things the way you do when it’s all about your life and peace? What happens when they don’t believe in your dreams and just want you to do what they want out of love and care?

Sometimes, our families may not see the good in the future, but are only trying to discourage you because of the current situation. As a person, how do you handle that situation? Do you push them away or become stuck with them doing their bidding?

For me, it was a hard one at first until it became easier along the way. Since I finished Secondary school, and because I was very stubborn, I went my way, becoming disobedient and just wanting to feel among my peers who had boyfriends at an early age.

That affected me so much that my parents, who eventually influenced other family members, thought I wouldn’t further my education, but instead might bring home an unwanted pregnancy due to my lifestyle then.

It was a tug of war trying to prove to them that I wasn’t who they thought I was. Just because I was disobedient doesn’t make me a wayward child because the truth was, I wanted to further my education.

My late grandmother joined hands with others, saying they shouldn’t send me to the University because I won’t go there to study, but become something else, but that didn’t move me; I was bent on proving them wrong.

I got to the college of education and finished successfully. It was time to further my degree, and another issue arose. Instead of moving straight to 200 level since I had my NCE certificate, my aunties connived together and said they won’t sponsor me if I don’t resit for JAMB and start from 100 level.

I disagreed with them. By this time, my mom was already dead and because they wanted to help me as regards finances, they thought they could control me to dance to their tunes.

I didn’t agree to their terms and conditions, but went on with my elder sister’s support. Believe me, they didn’t look at my side, not until I was in 300 level, almost entering 400 level. By then, they noticed I didn’t depend on them and so, they started seeing things in the right way. God’s faithfulness helped me graduate with good grades, and I went for my service.

For them, I didn’t cut ties with them; I just distanced myself while still getting in touch with them once in a while, and proved to them that I wasn’t who they thought I was and that the girl whom they had believed would waste their money finished from school and even went for service.

After that, we became best of friends. When I finished my youth service and sent my pictures to my aunties, who tried to discourage me, they were proud of me; this they said with their mouths, and I couldn’t have been happier to hear such words from them.

For my Daddy, even when he thought my addiction to the phone at that time was getting too much, now, he praises me when he sees that I was doing the right thing with it and not something that doesn’t profit me or bring productivity to my life. It is the phone that brings in money that I send to him every time. Lol.

Sometimes, we only need wisdom to handle situations like this and not fight them completely because they don’t believe in us, because at the end of the day, family is family.

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