Divorce and Mental Health: Who Should Come First - Parent or Child?
Image credit from UnsplashDivorce can be overwhelming and heartbreaking. This is because of the underlying effects it brings on the partners involved. Even though it isn't something one should experience because of the belief that marriage is forever and every partner must be able to settle whatever conflicts arise in their homes, some still go through it as the only option to help themselves.
Divorce can be caused by so many factors which are lack of commitment, financial problems, difficulties in communication, infidelity, trust issues, etc. This affects both partners, especially when they have tried to work it out but couldn't.
Divorce can also lead to financial instability, making it difficult for partners to maintain their standard of living. The process of divorce can be stressful, which takes a big toll on the partners, leading to psychological distress (i.e., anxiety, depression, guilt, loneliness, etc) and increasing the risk of mental health issues.
Divorce certainly affects children. When they are exposed to the ongoing conflict between their parents, it can damage their development. It impacts their emotional, behavioural and social well-being. When children experience their parents getting divorced, they struggle in academics and find it difficult to perform well in school, which leads to lower grades. They become aggressive among their peers and are quickly isolated when they find it hard to maintain or form healthy relationships.
Image credit from UnsplashThey go through feelings of sadness, shame and depression, causing many of them to be delinquent and even observe truancy at school. Though some of them are resilient and can quickly adjust well to the changes brought by the divorce, it is still something to be concerned about, mostly for their future.
Children need the support of both parents to function well. When parents are stable, working hand in hand to take care of their children, it leads to a healthy development in them. It can be damaging to them when they are brought up in an unhealthy or abusive marriage.
On the other hand, the mental well-being of parents also matters greatly because when they are emotionally unstable and unhappy due to divorce, they find it difficult to provide a nurturing environment for their children. When parents are constantly depressed or mentally unhealthy, children absorb that atmosphere which can lead to difficulties in staying healthy in the long term.
So, which should be prioritized?
I would say none should be ignored because both parent's and children's well-being are important. In this case, while we are supporting the parent's well-being, it indirectly affects the children's well-being, too. This is because when a parent is mentally okay and emotionally healthy, they are better equipped to take care of and guide a child, even after a divorce.
Image credit from UnsplashWhat I would most likely prefer is that both should be prioritized. This is done by making sure parents are given the necessary support either by their families or a professional health practitioner while also creating a loving environment and the support needed for the children whether they are together or separated.
Another one is through co-parenting where both parents have access to their children when and where necessary to reduce the harm or damage it may cause to them. I wouldn't advise anyone to stay in a toxic marriage, especially when lives are at stake because when they die, who would take care of their children?
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In a case where we need to choose one, then the parents well-being will comes first. For some reasons though. The parents will be the one to give maximum protection and all to the children after divorce, so imagine the parents is not even good condition who will take care of the children?
Parents well-being is also equal to the children well-being.
I agree as long as the children are not neglected also.
Yes, that's true also.
Yea, you definitely have a point. When parents well-being are affected, it's difficult to bring up a child in such situations.
So when are we getting married?
Hmm, divorce is such a troubling event that causes pain to all involved.
I agree with you that both the parents and the kids should be prioritized. Especially the females. It usually seems like women are always blamed for the outcome of a Divorce.
Yea, it is how things have been right from the beginning. They quickly shift blame to the women and not the man which is wrong. But in such a situation like this, both parties must not be ignored.
Exactly
Hmmm... This is a very important topic. Divorce is a very painful process. Most times, parents tend to focus on their feelings and drama, forgetting that kids can see what is happening and more importantly, they can feel the tension and everything. It's harder for kids to process because the people who are supposed to be protecting them are not protected at that time. And since kids are in their growing phase, this can affect their growth as a person.
Me saying this doesn't mean I am picking a side, divorce is hurtful for the parents involved. I just think the parents have a larger part to play since they are the adults and expected to be the wiser and leader, they should maturely handle the situation in a way that is healthy for themselves and the children. Children can do nothing during a divorce process. So all the responsibilities fall on the parents. I think the parents should prioritize themselves but should also be highly conscious of the role their actions play in the lives of their children.
Wow, you have said a whole lot here and that's very true. Divorce is a devastating thing but at the same time, children cannot do anything other than feel the impact it brings. However, parents are responsible to make sure their decisions doesn't affect their children if they actually consider them more. Thank you so much for your response. I truly appreciate it.
The topic of divorce is a sensitive subject matter, though. When it comes to divorce, it affects both the parents and children, but then I feel like it has more effect on the parents because they are the ones wearing the shoes, they know what they've faced during the long run. They have hidden secrets that the children don't know about.
Yea, you are right. The parents are likely to be affected much and they need to take step quickly so as not to affect their kids. So, they have to deal with it as soon as possible. Thank you, Tari.
Children are naturally sensitive and the action of parents make impact on children. Divorce gives maximum emotional damage to a child and it's not a good thing.
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I went for prioritizing the children more because the children never asked for them to be born, you and your partner brought them to this world so you both should be responsible. Yes, as parents it’s good to also look out for your own well being but if your own ewe ll being is affecting that of your children, then it’s a problem.
Everyone gets affected after a divorce, so it’s hard to say who is affected more because it can vary from person to person. Some children are even happy when the mother tells them they are no longer going to be staying with their father while some won’t. So I think what can work in this case is if both parents are open to their children and not just take all the decisions on their own but I doubt that too will be possible.
Divorce is not something that is good especially where children are involved because it will really affect them psychologically and physically. It will make the children aggressive towards their peers. Thank you for sharing.
Children need the support and love. As for the parents, well I would sterilise them so they could not bring more children into the world and then not be with them as they are growing up!
There are many factors that causes divorce and there should be balance between the child and the parents
Most time when parents are in a toxic relationship the always think about the impact of divorce on there kids and the decide to say in the relationship because of there kids. For me i think the both should be considered