Age Gap or Love Gap?

My friend and I were talking yesterday and he told me of the wedding he went to cover as a photographer. He said the husband is 40 years old and the wife is 25 years old. That’s such a big gap, you would say. 15 years difference is a whole lot.

He asked if I would go for a man with such an age gap. I replied and said there’s nothing wrong with that as long as it's God's will and love, which is always the first factor in marriage, are concerned. Love bonds perfection and I believe there’s nothing to say when love is real.

Marriage is a delicate thing that not everyone is capable of going into it especially for the wrong reasons. We’ve read where the ideal age for a lady to get married is 25 years, and at this stage, it is always taken seriously because they’ve assumed such a lady should be married or on her way to tying the knot, and anything different from that would be that there’s a problem.

Whereas, we have young ladies from 22 years getting married to men far older than them and they are living fine even after years. There we also see couples who married later but had a crash in their marriage. This tells that age isn’t a determinant of marriage as long as both partners have what it takes to keep the journey going for as long as they want.

Most people, especially ladies, fall into the trap of early marriage through pressure or the wrong mindset. This is because many do not look forward to the marriage but to the wedding. A wedding only lasts for a few hours in a day, or most times two days, depending on how they want to organise it, as we have people doing engagement and wedding on different days, but when it comes to marriage, that’s the real deal.

That’s where the whole drama takes place. That’s where the reason for getting married is practised, and if they can’t work it out, the marriage ends.

Factors to be considered and worked towards are;

Maturity: How mature are both partners? I mean in all areas; financially, emotionally, spiritually etc. One of the reasons why marriages end sooner than expected is that either one or both of the partners are not mature enough to handle the home. They are still inexperienced and untrained for the journey and these are those who go into it just because others are getting married. They don’t want to be left behind, and so, they feel among and by the time their eyes are opened, they realise the mistakes. Marriage is for mature minds and not for babies.

Understanding: This is very important in marriage. Even older couples may lose their marriage if they don’t understand each other. When two partners understand that they come from different backgrounds and one perspective may differ, and knowing that patience is required in such situations, the marriage is bound to stand firm and the test of time. Understanding each other in the home is one skill partners should learn even before getting married and this doesn’t affect age. Young couples could do better than older ones if they understand how to deal with each other's excesses.

Love: I think this should have been the first on the list because that’s the basis of everything. Love is everything in marriage and a lack of it could make such homes sour. Love will make you sacrifice a lot of things and help the marriage go a long way. We have people who have been married for years and are still standing, and if you ask how they did that, you would be amazed when love is mentioned. Love takes the lead.

Most people tend to lose the love even in the first few years of marriage and one would wonder why it’s so but one thing I truly believe is that when the marriage is built on the foundation of Christ who instituted marriage, for this, age doesn’t matter but love as it’s capable of getting stronger with each of them working it out.

When it comes to marriage, I do say that age is just a number; only maturity, understanding, love and other factors make up a long-lasting marriage. Even if my husband is 10 years older than me, it’s fine as long as it is God’s will and there’s love between us.

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