Forgive and Forget: Why Forgiving Doesn't Always mean Forgetting.

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Good day, people of Hive! Welcome to my blog. Today's topic is from Hive Learners, which says, "Forgive and Forget." So let's dive in.

We often hear people say "forgive and forget". But first, what is forgive and forget? Forgive means when we've decided to let go of the grudges we hold/have towards someone who hurt us. While forget means when we refuse to remember what happened. But honestly, forgetting isn't realistic. Yes, we can choose to forgive someone who hurt us, but deep inside our heart, we might still hold on to the memory of what happened.

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When someone wrongs us in a way we don't like, the pain doesn't just disappear. Even after we decide to forgive, we might still remember the incident clearly. But that doesn't mean we haven't moved on or didn't forgive that person. It's just that we're human, and we tend to never forget incidents that happened to us, because our heart tends to hold on to hurtful experiences because it doesn't want us to get hurt the same way again.

We have some people who forgive but never forget. That's why if we do something bad or hurtful to someone, they may tell us they forgive us, but that doesn't mean they'll forget. Something might happen to us, or maybe one of our friends says something about themselves that reminds us of what happened years ago to us. Without realizing it, we might mention it again. Because we said it doesn't mean we haven't forgiven them; we have, it's just that the memory is still there. Forgiving without forgetting is like having a scar after an injury. For example, the place we got wounded may have healed, but the scar is still there to remind us of what happened.

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To me, forgetting completely without remembering can be dangerous, and I’ll tell you why. If we forget the memory of how someone wronged us, we might put ourselves in the same position to be hurt again. For example, a friend who borrowed money from us and never return it back,and maybe they did it many times. We can forgive them because they’re our friend and stop holding the anger of them not returning the money in our heart, but if they come back again to borrow money, we might refuse. Is not that we are still holding grudges, we're not, we're just protecting ourselves.

Some people always says that if we can’t forget what others have done to us, then we are not a good Christians, because as a good Christians we should always forgive and forget. I’m the kind of person who forgives easily, but that doesn’t mean I forget the hurtful words someone said to me. To me, if I completely forget the incident, I might be making room for the same thing to happen again, and I want to avoid that and protect myself.

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Like what happened to me last semester. I told one of my friends something personal and made it clear to her that she should never tell anyone, not even my other friends, because I trusted her. Unknowingly, she had already told one of them. When I found out, I was deeply hurt because I never expected that from her. Although she apologised and begged me for forgiveness, it took me a while to forgive her, but I told her to her face that I would never forget the betrayal. Since then, I stopped telling her anything personal, and she noticed, but she didn’t say anything because she knew it was her mistake and that she had to face the consequences.

Also, forgiving is important, especially for our peace of mind. When we hold on to grudges, the weight of it will affect how we feel inside. So instead of holding on to them, letting go is better for our health and happiness. However, forgetting, like I said earlier, is not simple. It's hard, but over time, the memory might fade away, even though it might never disappear completely.

In conclusion, forgive and forget doesn't always happen together. We can forgive and still remember, but that doesn't mean we're still holding grudges. The important thing is that we shouldn’t let the memory control us or fill us with anger anymore.

This is my entry for the Hive Learners Featured Content Week 172 Episode 02

Thanks for reading💞💞💞💞💞.