Trauma Showdown: The Impact Of Divorce On Kids Vs Parents

Just recently, I shared my thoughts on what I expect from a marriage partner and a major reason for knowing and having this in mind is to avoid one of the dreadful thing in marriage, divorce. The world has gotten to the point where divorce is normal and easy to decide on once a couple faces any difficulty whether big or small.

I believe marriage is sacred and after that, it is an agreement between two people who not only love themselves but also believe they can do a lifetime together. I want to believe many who are divorced today never planned for their marriage to go the way it did but it happened and most times, the aftermath are unexpected and scary.

People divorce for many reasons, some even for silly reasons like misplaced priorities or change of mind because they were never prepared for the main thing called marriage. Like someone once said "Divorce cases are on the high because many prepare for the wedding and not the marriage". But some divorce to save their lives.

Marriage isn't a do or die affair, at least it's the way I see it. I've heard of countless stories where a woman remains in a marriage, regardless of extreme domestic violence until her death by mistake because she is trying to be there for her children. Her intentions are love for her kids, thoughtful but they are foolish and lack self love.

How can one who is dead be there for her children? Some people in marriages need to understand that it's life first before other reasons. I don't see myself putting up with the unreasonables in a marriage, being so unhappy and still remain in it because I love my children. While I don't wish to get a divorce, it's an option.

Divorce in itself has been a dreadful thing for me since I was a kid as I had a firsthand experience of how it feels to have your parents separated growing up. In my opinion, I wouldn't want the trauma from a divorce on the kids and parents be compared as they are both very different cases even though it is a same family trauma situation.

I believe most couples before a divorce once loved each other, did a lot of things together and even promised a lot to be done in the future together. Deciding to divorce such a person can take a huge toll on the individuals and not everyone has same strength to bear such situations so it's a phase to consider carefully.

It will be difficult for a child to grow well, and I mean, emotionally, psychologically, physically and even spiritually fine when his or her parents are forcing themselves to be in a marriage because of their kids. It's almost like a child also suffering from a divorce but there is a little better difference for the kid when there's no divorce yet.

If we must compare, I'd say the trauma from a divorce is weighed more on the children because they are younger and need all the guidance from their parents, learn almost everything from them and emulate their good actions. Divorce is also an agreement, the parents can actually prepare their minds before it happens unlike their kids.

A divorce means a lot of changes for the children just as much as it is for the parents who are going their separate ways but we must understand that it is a lot more for the children who only believes their parents are supposed to be together like other parents out there. Only a few children can understand divorce situations.