The Unexpected Joy of Putting Myself First

The prompt question sounded very simple to respond to until I had to think deeply about the things that are giving me the most joy recently. I thought about many things, I could have said it's watching kdrama as I've been spending a lot of my free time to complete a series recently but that didn't really feel like something to call joy.

I also wanted to say the recent marriage preparations and the ceremony was also a thing of joy for me as it's been one of the weddings I've been looking forward to but there's no way I can prolong the joyful feeling from that. It's just worth mentioning that I was in a joyous mood all last week even though the process was stressful.

But in the middle of all that, something deeper but quieter felt louder for me in giving just the perfect amount of joy for me. It's something I've only started doing for myself recently but the change has been so significant that it is influencing how I see myself and I perceive the world to see me, not minding what people think.

Lately, what has been bringing me the most joy in my life is my self-care routines. It's almost like I'm doing everything I do for myself, choosing myself repeatedly over everything else because on the long run, I'm my only biggest lover and that would help me spread a bigger love to people around because I love and choose myself more often.

Nowadays, I spend time looking myself in the mirror to appreciate my looks and speak positive words to myself. It's not something I do before but I try to make a habit now and the joy I feel after every session is unexplainable. Listening to positive videos and podcasts has boosted my self-talk a lot and I plan to keep it up for my joy.

I've also been learning to understand my body, my thoughts and how I react to my realities. This has helped me to find joy in the most little things I find out about who I am. I remember how joyous I was when I learnt of my body type, it felt so transforming as I began to appreciate my body more and gift myself clothes that fit me better.

Cleaning up more, resting more and trying not to get angry or stay angry for too long, I've been more intentional about that and it automatically made me have more peaceful joy in my days than before. I'm sure anyone who cleans would know how therapeutic that action is on one's mind, resting more is still a struggle but I'll keep trying.

In essence, what is giving me the most joy right now is myself. I am finding who I am and loving every bit of the person I am finding by learning what needs to be learned and unlearning what I do not need for the kind of person I want to be.