The Danger of Too Much Reward or Too Much Punishment

It's timely that I had just seen a video of a mother pointing out the fact that parenting has taken a whole new dimension from what we knew it to be in the time past. Even though we can't say for sure if this new dimension is any better than before, we can say for sure that the old way of parenting is what birth the responsibles of today.

Parenting in years past had a good balance to how a child should be raised, the punishment and rewards were there but we could say there was more punishment for some than some others. Still, they knew very well what punishment and rewards should mean to a child when they take action in any of the direction. It all played a role.

Children, as the Bible describes them, are very innocent when they are very small so their heart is full of folly. That is, they can do things out of innocence and it's the duty of the parents to inform them either by punishment when it's a wrong thing or by reward when it's a good thing. They shouldn't be left to do whatever they want.

I think that's where a lot of parents of this age are failing, they let kids decide for themselves, forgetting that it wasn't how they were raised and somehow, they don't know how that has helped so far. I remember my mum telling me stories of how she hated her mother when she was growing up because of the discipline she gave.

But as she is older and wise, she would always refer to her mother as one who was intentional about children and they all turn out way better, even though her mother never went to school. That actually got me wondering if parenthood is about educational level, because I think it's about what you've known and what works best for you.

But a general sense is, children shouldn't be left alone to do whatever they like, they are not adults. So choosing punishment or rewards, depends totally on what the child does. Parents shouldn't give a blind eye to the wrongs of their children even if its by a mistake and the same for the rights. Do not spare the Rod and love them.

For me, children learn best in both, punishment and rewards, but only when there is some kind of balance in how it is used on them. A child should know when he or she is doing something wrong or right and know what to expect when it is done and the parents should make sure to do what is balanced so they are not taken for granted after.

In the absence of punishment, constantly rewarding kids will make them grow the entitlement mentality and in the absence of rewards, constantly punishing children will make them feel they are never enough to their parents and anyone else. Too much of everything is bad and this is why balance is very much needed.