Learning to Love Myself in Small Ways

I think we choose ourselves everyday but not many realize that. I mean, we do something for others because we feel good about it or we expect something in return, that's in turn something we've done for ourselves. But yeah, I know that's not the direction of this prompt and I'm glad I have the opportunity to write on this.

I have three apps in my phone at the moment, I downloaded them at different times in this year. Honestly, I downloaded them for reasons I didn't think deep into, they were just part of my "doing things differently this year" goal and through them, I've discovered more about what I never really thought about before now... Loving myself.

As the eldest child of a family where the mum isn't around to act her duties, I found myself tied to a role I never got any training on, so tied that somehow I've made it a habit that if I care for myself even a little bit, my siblings or my family may suffer it somehow. Before I get anything, I would think of many reasons not to get it first.

I know it's understandable but it's definitely not an excuse to not take care of myself, it's not an excuse to not do things for just me, it's totally okay to be selfish a little so long it doesn't affect another negatively. These three apps on my phone have made me realize that fact and it's been a different life for me since I realized that.

Doing something for myself doesn't have to be grand, expensive or time exhausting that it would make me neglect those around me. I figured better ways to live an even happier life within me while I go about my duties as a sister, a daughter and a friend. It's quite simple to love myself and somehow these apps made it even easier for me.

I decided to start Journaling with Gratitude to keep track of my happy and sad days, it's been life changing for me because it feels like I live my dream life everyday as I hit my daily goals almost everyday so I can feel good while writing on my journal. This is something I can't do for a family or friend, it's totally a self-love and self-care thing.

I've been learning more into the power of self-love, affirmations and positive thinking, that led me to listening to Podcasts on Spotify. I've come to know really amazing speakers who have affected my life in ways I never thought any online would lol. I speak more positive to myself now and it's affecting my actions and interaction.

In the spirit of learning a skill for the fun of it, at least, I decided to start honing my communication skill in English using Duoligo. I know it does sound odd that an English speaker is learning English again but I figured if for anything, I should be great at one language and English is the most fun and most used I can take.

When last did I choose myself?

I've been choosing myself everyday since this year began and it's been a better effect on those around me. I observe more, I say less, I think more intentionally, I buy what I need, I get better by 1% everyday and I prioritise my little self-care routine to feel my love for myself. I'm sure my family can do that for themselves too, one love.