Family Is a Blessing, But Boundaries Keep It Healthy

I think this question is very subjective to change but either way to answer it isn't a right or wrong answer as people change and the experiences of every person is different in all aspects of life. Family is one of the greatest blessings in life and I am one of those who is very grateful for being a part of a family that I have experienced love.

I don't believe there is a perfect family anywhere in the world so understanding that fact and appreciating the family God has blessed me with, has helped me see the flaws and strengths in my family as just a part of life. Why am I saying this? I can say to a good extent, my immediate family have a good relationship with my external family.

As a matter of fact, I spent a few of my years in life living with my extended family, especially my grandmother and my aunts. I wasn't opportune to have a lot of uncles, just one and we've never been that close until I got an adopted uncle who I'm very close to now. Extended families have always been part of my immediate family lives.

And guess what! I love it, even though we have our differences in mindset, in experiences, in actions and even in beliefs, we still somehow remind ourselves that we are a one big family and we treat each other as such. But when it comes to relating with my extended family, there is a limit to how close we get for privacy reasons.

With breach in privacy comes trust being compromised because I don't need to be told the number of times young growing families collapse because extended family keeps overstepping their boundaries and trying to make a family be as they want from their own mindset. Even before marriage, some give opinions on choices.

While that may be good in very few aspects, it has caused more harm than good for people who don't have the discerning strength to pick the sense out of their many talks and opinions. With that in mind, I personally would want my family to have a good relationship with our relatives but we will definitely not make it too close relationship.

My kids should be able to recognise their uncles and aunts whenever they are and even have good rapport with them once in a while but they will always know the extent the relationships should go and grow independent of them but dependent on their immediate family, dad and mum for the most important aspects of their life decisions.

I understand why there are a lot of families who don't want to associate with their extended family but I believe it will only get worse if we keep at it. Understanding how your relatives are, seeing the patterns and making sure not to repeat them is a good way to raise kids that will have a good enough relationship with their extended relatives and still keep the family trust.