Virtual Affection Or Digital Deception: The Reality Of Digital Relationships.

We live in a world where we can literally build a whole relationship without even seeing the person. Digital or the emergence of this digital thing felt like magic, one moment you are just online minding your business and in the next you see someone who respond or react to your tweet or post. And then, that's how connection starts.

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Presently, some of my closest friends are people I met online, though there are some I have been opprtuned to meet face to face. Its both scary and fascinating, the internet has knowingly or unknowingly become our second home, sincerely, we find ourselves praying, advising, pitying, chatting people we’ve never met. There are times its just too good to be true, we find it amazing, and there are times it gets all messy.

One thing we need to understand about this (digital relationship) is that they ate very easy to build and at the same time easy to destroy. I have seen those that we were very close, already besties and one time I just get ignored, it left me wondering and bothered about what could have went wrong. What seems to amaze me is that we seems to be more comfortable with this virtual affection thing than the face to face one, it's easy to give a hug emoji than to give a real one, digital relationships is both a blessing and curse.

There are more than friendships online, there are people I know who met their soulmates online and others like me who got muted, there are also those whose hearts got shattered because they fell for someone who was nothing compared to what their profile says. It’s easy to fake love there, people get comfortable creating this version of themselves that doesn’t truly exist, and when reality sets in. Its hard to know when someone is genuinely into you or just trying to pass time.

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It’s sad, how we sometimes invest in someone who barely thinks of us, someone who just needed someone to pass time with. but it happens all the time. We pour out our hearts to people who might just be playing games. And because it’s the internet, we never truly know if we are indeed the only one they’re loving and talking sweetly with. There’s this fear of being fooled or falling for someone who doesn’t exist. The digital space gives room for people to be who they are not, it allows people craft a new them.

Its hard knowing who's genuine and who's fake. If you have an online work you do and have a boss, a boss you've never met, you only meet and connect through zoom meetings and emails, you give all of your best to the person behind the screen, but still, can you say your boss really knows you. Does it mean he/she did trust you, does it mean he/she really knows your worth and recognize/notice your hard work. It’s like they exist only when they need something from you.

But, there are two things I have learned to maintain a healthy digital relationship, and it has never stopped helping. One is boundaries, the other the intention. We dont need to loose ourselves while trying to impress someone online. Theres the need to be mindful of how much of our heart we give away and to whom we give it to. Anybody can fake things for a few days, check for those who stick around through your highs and lows, they are the ones that are mostly real and truly matter.

And about being intentional, we shouldn't just be friends with people or follow people just like that, theres the need to be sure and clear of what one needs from a connection, if it is friendship, keep it as that and nurture it, if it is business, keep it professional. Limits should be known, boundaries should be set and the other party or parties must know and respect them. Mental health matters, and the internet is a space that could mess with it if one is not being careful, so its definitely alright to disconnect from anyone who drains ones peace, no matter how close they seemed online.

Dont feel guilty for being intentional, nor for setting boundaries and setting standards. If someone makes you uncomfortable or constantly crosses boundaries, its alright to cut them off if theres no willingness to change or adjust. Don’t be too quick to trust words and people on the other side of the screen. Your heart is on the line, safe guard it, guard it jealously, don't fall for sweet words and empty promises.

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Digital relationships is and will remain a part of our lives, it will keep growing and keep advancing. Don't get swayed by the illusion of closeness without substance. Be wise, be real, be intentional, be careful and be true to yourself. Be it friendship, love, or work connections, whatever connection/relationship it is, don't settle for anything less than genuine.
The internet is spacious, it gives room for anything, but ones peace is important. We should keep on building a connection/relationship that is good, that add value to us and not one that makes us empty or feel used.

Posted Using INLEO