Love vs Legalities: Preparing for forever or planning for "just in case".
There was a time I actually believed love was enough,I mean, I really believe it. I grew up watching couples around me...my parents, aunties, uncles, neighbors all sticking together through thick and thin. Nobody talked about this prenuptial agreement of a thing. You marry, you stay, you make it work. And that was it. And now, my generation begs to differ, everywhere I turn, people are saying “ you better sign an agreement" what agreement? "A prenuptial agreement. Its now seen as a normal thing to do, and seriously it's still getting at me.
The very first time I heard about a prenuptial agreement, I felt somehow about the whole idea of love. Its more like planning an exit before even entering. I am promising and pledging a forever to someone, why should I be worried about.." what if it ends". The way I see it, love should be all in or nothing. I believe that's how we all want to love and be loved.
But then, life will always show you things and make one have a rethink. I’ve seen marriages that started with love but ended in war. People who once shared toothbrushes, sponges and all are now the ones dragging one another to court over who gets the blender or the washing machine. My belief started shaking then when I found out that love is not stopping this fights and dramas and then to division or is it sharing of properties.
Before I even knew a topic like this would be out, a scenerio happened in my neighborhood, and after everything has queited down, I was discussing with my friend, I was saying love should be enough and she just looked at me somehow and she said “Milliracle, you too dey love, but you know wisdom is profitable to direct.” how is the bible verse related to this, I just laughed, but she was serious. She begin to do sight some examples and do some analysis, she began to compare a prenuptial agreement to insurance....something you don’t hope to use but you have just in case. More like people who get car insurance do not plan to crash their car, they don't , but life happens, and thats it. Well what she told me kind of hit me differently.
Though, I still struggle with the idea. The thing is, If I should love someone enough to marry them, then shouldn’t we be more focused on building together than planning for disaster, cause that is what I see that agreement as. But then again, I think about the possibility of building something great and losing half of it because my partners emotions changed, that would be disastrous and devastating.
To be frank and honest, people change. Not necessarily in a bad way, but in ways that make them grow apart. That same person who once made your heart race might one day possibly make your blood hot and boil. And when love seems to be missing, not strong enough or can't hold things together again, then, definitely, one really need to be prepared.
If I ever get married, smiles, well I intend to. I would want my partner to trust me the way I trust them. And if they bring a prenuptial agreement, It would probably hit me, but then, I would ask why they want it, why the fear of failing even before starting, is it due to fear, past trauma or heartbreaks or they just felt it because its what almost everyone is doing this days.
Well, am thinking if love and wisdom can coexist. Maybe what true love really means is that to be set and prepared for anything life brings your way, including those you can't imagine, maybe true love is just that its not as if you are expecting the worst but just making sure that if the worst happens, we don't become enemies.
Now, will I consider a prenupital agreement? I don’t know. I still want to believe in love, that reckless type of love, one that consumes, one that does not need any contract to hold it up nor keep it intact. But, am still thinking, cause I also want to be wise, wisdom is profitable to direct, so maybe a little bit of planing here and there is not bad, its just love with sense.
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The idea of prenupital agreements look very awkward initially but a mature person knows how much they can be of benefits. They can prevent divorces. They can become cause of good upbringing of children. They may repel many of nupital scuffles which may destroy their marrital life
I completely agree with you, the agreements may seem awkward at first, but they can actually strengthen marriage either preventing financial conflicts and abiut the children upbringing you mentioned. It's a smart, wise and responsible way to approach marriage.
Thanks for stopping by.
Love must be lived in the purest way possible in life. It is the purest feeling that someone can have for another person. If love is pure and true, there is no need for many agreements. It is enough to live and feel this love with the person we love, walking by their side.
I love thus, love is indeed a beautiful and selfless feeling when it's genuine, its beyond contracts and agreements. All that matters is the connection, the trust, and the journey you share with that special person.
Thanks for stopping by sir.