The Art Of Selective Truth: When Omitting Is Better Than Revealing

Growing up, my mom trained my siblings and I well to make sure we never told lies. I don’t know how she did it, but she made sure we weren’t scared to tell her the truth. So whenever we did something bad and she asked, we would tell her the truth. I remember the day my brother and I played football in the living room and broke the louvers. My memories are flawed, but I think it was about 3 louvers. That day, when my mom got back, we told her about it, expecting that as long as we told the truth, she wouldn’t beat us. But that day was different. My brother was the one who got the beating while I was told to kneel down for more than 30 minutes. That day, we learnt that our actions have consequences and that we cannot always get away just by telling the truth. Although we got punished that day, we still got the message; it is best to avoid lying and deceiving people.

My mom’s teaching stuck with me and shaped my life. As a kid, I thought it was illegal to tell lies. “Liars will go to hell fire.” This warning was what made me scared of telling lies. However, as I grew older, I realized something different from what my mom taught me; sometimes, you need to lie in the adult world. I realized that lying can sometimes be an art, depending on how you choose to use it. For example, if you have a pile of work to complete and your friends ask if you are around so they could come over to play, knowing fully well that you need to focus, you tell them that you are not home. This is the kind of lie we tell as adults.

As much as I tell lies sometimes, I try as hard as I can not to. Sometimes, I prefer to not say anything at all than to tell lies. Sometimes, when I don’t feel comfortable sharing details of something with a person, I omit them. This is called lying by omission. This brings me to today’s Hive Learners’ prompt: THE LIE OF OMISSION. The community asks us to share our thoughts on the lie of omission.

What is the lie of omission? According to Better Up, “Lying by omission is a type of deception that happens when you purposely omit information that’s critical to something you’re saying.” Basically, it means not telling the full details of an event or happening for reasons best known to you. It is important to note that there is a very thin difference between an outright lie and a lie by omission. When you lie outrightly, your main purpose for doing that is to deceive the person. In my opinion, when lying by omission, it is because I believe some things are better left unknown or that approach best at the time.

About 2 years ago, one of my friends lost her dad. At the time, she was in school and it was during exams. Her dad had been sick for months, but got better before she left for school. Her parents didn’t want her to know about the incident because it would distract her, so they decided to keep it from her. Since I was her only friend in the neighborhood, they told me not to let her know no matter what. As if she sensed something, she called me that day to ask if the last time I went to her house and if her dad had gotten fully better. I told her that I went to her house about 3 days ago, but I didn’t enter. I only went there to greet her brother. The truth was that I went to their house 3 days before as I told her, the truth was that I went there to see her brother and I didn’t enter. But omitted an important detail; her brother told me that her dad was in a terrible condition and that night, I heard that he passed away.

I didn’t tell her anything about her dad, I omitted that part completely. I only told her that I went to their house to see her brother. Sometimes, we need to lie by omission, not because it is good but because it is the best approach.

Image in this post is mine.

Thanks for reading.