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RE: A CHILD’S EXCESSES: WHOSE FAULT IS IT?
Hello there, PA. My device was really low when I started reading this post. I read this post (after your call), but I didn't want to drop my comment yet. So, I charged my device a bit and gave this post a second read. Simply put, I have read this post two twice.
Hope, you and I agree that parenting isn't easy. This is why it is important to have everything in place before becoming a parent. If you don’t want your child to suffer, you have to put the right resources in place.
As soon as a child steps into the world, they become the responsibility of their parents. It is the duty of the parents to shower their kids with love, care and support. That’s the right thing, right?
Yes, Hope. I agree with you that mothers and fathers tend to train their children with soft hands. Parents have soft a spot their kids. A mother who carried her child for 9 good months, suffering and struggling would definitely have a soft spot for that child. Naturally, mothers have soft spots for kids.
A child only ends up becoming a nuisance to the society when parents don’t do their jobs properly
No, Hope. I don’t agree with you. One bit. You other points are valid, but this one? Nah! A child “ONLY” ends up becoming a nuisance to the society when the parents don’t do their jobs properly? No, Hope. No! Here’s what I think; your perspective is altered and diluted because you have probably not seen or heard enough! I agree with you that children become a nuisance when parents don’t do their jobs properly.
However, this doesn't happen all the time. Not in all cases. According to you, 100% of the time children go astray, it is the parent's fault. No! I tell you, Hope. Some children’s stubbornness is inbuilt. Yes! You just need prayers.
I have heard and had first-hand stories and experiences. Okay. How about we use this as a case study: ABC is a child who has always been stubborn since he was a kid. Despite his parent's teachings and beatings, he never listened. They spent hours preaching and trying to correct him, but he never listened and ended up becoming a nuisance. Whose fault is it?
I know you might argue that the parents gave up on him, but you should know this; it gets to a stage when a children grows out of the shed of their parents. Parents will not always be capable of correcting (beating and trying to change) their kids. When they get to a certain age- 20, maybe? They are already on their own.
Okay, I will just focus on the example you gave. Children are very sensitive to the things around them and when they refuse to accept corrections, look inwardly. Do the parents accept corrections when they are corrected? Or do they even accept they are wrong or they are the type that believes they are always right.
Fave, I have trained children not child. I made an exception in my write up because of course I’ve not seen it all but I tell you this, a child inbuilt stubbornness can be traced to someone in that family and as parents, when we realize this, there are so many ways they can help that child but they never saw it as necessary and now things has gone out of hand.
Beating a child always and you still see the child doing the same thing only means that beating is not the remedy that child needs. That child needs a friend, someone they can trust and as a parent that is your duty.
Parenting is no child’s play, you keep learning on the job but if as a parent you are not learning, you will think some problems don’t have solutions but trust me, as long as their is a problem there is a solution, you either have to find it or create it.
Yes, prayer is vital and that is also parents responsibility. They have a role to their children, spiritually, physically, emotionally and mentally. All of these must be intact because if you miss one, you might miss another and another and another.
And as for the part of parents having a soft spot for their children, well, it is mostly like that first some but that is still on you as a parent. If you end up using that to the detriment of the child then you are to blame because I know of some parents that despite their ordeal, they still made sure the child is given proper training.
Hope, I’m glad you agree that you have not seen it all. It is nice that you have trained so many kids. Although you are not a parent yet, you are experienced in that field. Nice, Hope. Really nice.
I tell you that some parents put in everything to change their kids. I understand that beating them is not the only method, but they try other methods too. They spend time trying to correct their kids, but it is another level when they turn teenagers.
These are valid points, Hope. You are really experienced in this field. But my point is that there are exceptions. Most times, it is the parent’s fault. However, in some cases, it is the child’s fault.
Hope, I grew up with soft parents. Although some of the teachings came with belts, brooms, and slippers, my parents were generally soft. Still, I didn’t turn out to be wayward.
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I’m glad to know you read my post twice. And yes, I was wrong to say that’s the only reason a child will go astray, I forgot village people for a while but I believe parents can still make that go away by putting it in God’s hands 😌. But not everyone knows and accept God so yeah, that was a bit extreme.
Lol. Village people too and some other factors.
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