Emotional & Physical Needs: Money Finds A Way To Be Our Undoing
It was an eventful weekend for me. This means spending more money than I usually plan. It's alright, I'm not a big spender, I mostly forget my rules because times like last weekend were a one-time thing, meaning, one-time expenses and indulgences, provided I won't break my pocket. I have been managing fatigue for such a long time now and instead of me to nudged down a bit on the activities, I sort of intensified it. I feel I haven't been having time off to enjoy the thrill of being a human being. I got this feeling because I think growing up becomes boring at some point in time. It's been difficult to enjoy the things I used to.
But the thrill of life seems to come from havings unlimited means these days
Eventually
.......I find it difficult to keep up with conversations with people. I can no longer type two to three meaningful sentences. Some of my online acquaintances already feel like I'm pushing them out of my life, hence, I can say we're no longer friends. I have this crazy fellow I finally stopped picking up her calls, she was always on my heels to call her every time, but because she's such a terrible conversationist I find it difficult to create fun conversation too, I wanted to be alone, and being stressed takes away my ability to see any fun in talking to someone over the phone. I felt she craved too much attention, I once gave it to her, but since I can not anymore she began to feel too deserved and after I got ill sometimes back, I stopped picking up or answering her calls or texts.
some ladies are just this way, they offer nothing, yet wants everything.
I feel time, money, affection and cravings are cyclical, can't expect it you can't give
My mental health was cleansed of all that toxicity and even if I was physically fatigued and needed some dosage of my medicines, I ignored taking any of my medications and rather choose to have friends over instead. (Although I'm now feeling the effect of not taking my medications) I think these days, I crave more physical presence more than than online affiliation. I think it's because I'm beginning to be needy, my life can be a mess, fighting different illnesses sometimes and trying to stay fit to either flip assets online, play splinterlands or even cook. (I enjoy cooking)
I know that my health situation becomes a limiting factor sometimes, but sometimes I just snub everything and lay down on my bed for days without going outside. Anyways, this Saturday, I snapped out of it and asked a friend to come to cook for me and my flatmate, she came over, I also had another friend from my school days come over and we spent two refreshing days of eating and watching TV, cracking jokes, having fun times and reminiscing how we're in our late 20s and how life and responsibilities that come with it feels exhausting, how broke we are, with no one securing any tangible jobs, building a savings or even planning finances to build a family.
It feels like sometimes it's difficult to figure out my life.
This year has been really difficult for me, losing my mother, my emergency funds, and a ghastly accident with my brother, so it feels queer to find an atom of happiness even from the people I thought Ioved, so sometimes I just switch off everything and go silent till I crawl back to reality, needs, wants, bills and expectations. On second thought, fun activities away from being productive, meeting up deadlines, or being creative can be good, but there's one thing, some content creators are always refurbished and replenished after taking the weekend off, while some are always left fatigued, empty, uninspired and too tired to even think of making a video, or putting words that could form phrases or sentences at the same time. The latter is me, because of the busy weekend, I've found it difficult to write my usual financial contents.
Compromise and seeking to get back in the game
But how easy is it?
The spark isn't just there. I'm not even pumped up about learning crypto trading. Once again I've let myself get sucked up in my mood, forgetting that these things don't pay the bills, I do. I don't even have that luxury of not wanting to find ways to make money, I only get to patch up myself, and get back to hustling because irrespective of our emotional or health requirements, our money needs seems to be the one that creates a possibility of achievement for the rest of needs we have. Anyways I managed to cook some fringe food, checked the price of Bitcoin, watched TV and contemplated day trading again, since I'm aiming for more money to buy hive.
Interested in some more of my works?
How To Be "THE" Content Creator You Always Desire
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A lot was poured out here really. Let me respond to just few..
This should be of your worst years ever if you have the kind of connection I have with my mum (Naturally its always there between mum and boys).Plus the accident and financial loss. Am really sorry about this. Honestly people go through a lot. I wish we could always see beyond the smiling faces. Am sorry about these challenges bro. You will gradually, eventually get over them.
Am really sorry about this. Hope your medication is working. Please dont skip them (I feel guilty because am not qualified to advise on this. I skip drugs. hahaha)
Believe me this is cool. This would be so refreshing. I wish you can do that a little more often - maybe change the activities for more creativity and fun.
Finally, be strong bro and fight with your head to the wind. Honestly being an adult in this environment is scary, but its a war we are winning. Finances aside, all challenges are being overcome now.
Thank you for the kind words, sincerely, sometimes I just lose it. This year has been my most challenging year, except 2014 When I lost my dad too. I think it's been Overly challenging as well. Being a man is one of the most difficult things I've ever done and approaching 30 and looking for how to understand or balance aging and hustling in life including the incumbent responsibility that comes with them can be tough.
As for my health, I think, that's why I try to work on, get more rest, watch my stress level and take time to eat well.
I haven't been up and doing in so many aspects of my life and it scares me big time, but what do I do? I think i can only work on the things I cantrol. It's scary to be a man.
This is the best ending thought. You shouldnt bother too much on things you have no control over. Work positively on the things you can influence and hope for the best. Winning is a mentality and you have it
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I guess we both had the same week. Cos last week I felt silly, craved people's physical presence, and wanted to dump my phone, and do nothing.
All I did was eat, sleep, watch movies, and tried to make sure I have a post up for the day and get to the top 10 on ecency leaderboard. That's all.
It was a crazy week. I hope this week wouldn't feel that way for both of us 😩🥺
Be strong. Next year we will be better. 🥰
Irrespective of how we seem to crave the presence of people, we find it difficult to actually drop that phone or that laptop. It's interconnected with our lives and survivability in so many ramifications.
You didn't have a bad week though, it's probably just there, it's proper to seek something different though and sometimes it can be fraustrating, hahaha.
That's simply true. I didn't leave my phone .. lol. It's connected to everything about us just as you said.
Yeah. Last week, I did want something different and yes, it was frustrating.. lol
Oh! You lost your mom? Sorry about that!
Seriously, I feel the need to take a break from last Friday to Sunday and right now, I felt rejuvenated and back to work. I overstressed myself last week here on hive and I saw how draining and stressed I was affected by it. We really do need rest if we want to give our best because this body has to rest too.
I hope you give time more to rest and I think I need that boiled plantain too. Care to make some for me? Lol
Yeah, I lost my mum in July, and my brother had a fatal accident, one he's recuperating from. Nevertheless it's generally been a hectic and tasking year for me. As for last week, mehn I understand you. But normally, taking that break comes at at cost. I'm glad you're feeling better this week.
Hahaha it's my first time taking it this year, it wasn't bad. Come have some.
Oh wow! I wish your brother a good healing and quick recovery. Extend my greetings to him too.
About figuring out yourself, you are not the only one who have such thoughts
There was a day I was just overthinking and I decided to call my mom for advice, but then I needed to see her as a person to do that and so I made out time to go visit home, on getting to the house, I got entertained like normally you will get from home and after a day in the house, I decided it was the perfect time to accomplish what I went there for
I called her and we both where setting on the bed, I when asked her if she will be sincere about what I want to ask, she promised to be, and so I asked "how she was able to discover her self and build everything she have today"
She told me she didn't know what the feature holds, but she was just trusting every process in life, she told me she made alot of mistakes and I'm definitely going to make some as well, she told me she got confused about life and was trying so hard to figure out herself all the time as well.
So now she concluded, it is totally normal to feel that way, and you are going to still feal it even when you get old, so now st this very point, I was feeling alot better about life generally.
I know she might maybe wanted me to feel okay, and said some stuffs up to make me feel alright, but then, such is life.
So I totally understand that point of you trying to figure out yourself, because it is totally normal, I mean you are only a human right?
What a revealing conversation you had with your mother. In reality, I do understand that life might feel strange while we're growing older and trying to figure out things. But you're right. At the end of the day we have no manual for growing up and figuring out things. In my case, I just live right and hope to make the right decisions.
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I like that!
It's been a tough year for you and I hope everything works out. Life is tough and sometimes people just need a break. Day trading is tough and stressful so I think you should make sure you are prepared for it.
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Hahaha thank you on that advice on day trading, I haven't really prepared for it, I think I just don't seem to get in the groove.
Well, it's sure been a tough year for me like you've said. Hoping for a better one next year.
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That was interesting, please do take care of your health as we all say health is wealth. It's nice to hear you do your cooking , honestly, even me too.
Well I am taking care of me, I think it's a bit more complicated. I do my cooking 99% of the times, at least since I started loving it..
Sometimes can be the real reality of being independent and mature, what lots of young folks don't see ahead but want to be free by all means without knowing what it actually entails.
I understand how life seems challenging but just be strong, not just for yourself but for your dear Mum in blessed memory who'll be proud of you where she is and for your brother.
Eventually, all these seeming needs will have no substance because You'll be far above them providing you live by the principles which I think you are. Stay strong 💪 and please don't skip medications 😌😌