👨‍👩‍👦‍👦PARENTS ADVISE: PRINCIPLES OF GUIDING OUR CHULDREN🧒

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Hello hive learners, how are you doing today❓ It is very good to train your children in good ways, The children will give you rest when they grow up. But if you don’t train children in good ways, the parents are going to suffer the consequences.
The Bible says, ‘train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.’ proverb 22:6.
It happened that I attended the PTA meeting (Parent Teacher Association) before the mid-term break.

“Most of the fault or bad behaviors our children exhibit today are the fault of the parents; for instance, when you have our children and you discover that he is not behaving in good manner, we should call such children and advise him/her. A child that is showing the sign of disrespect to his/her parents cannot respects other citizen is the community.
Some parents did not caution their children when they are misbehaving, they supported their children doing the wrong things. These children would think that what they are doing is right, and they continue doing such things to others. But if parents caution their children, when necessary, the child may be subject to change. We give confidence to our children when you support them for doing bad things. This is the we need to call them to prompt attentions when necessary.” -Mr. Jeremiah

“Parents contribute major factors to the lives of their children; your child brought something that is not belong to him to house, it is your responsibility to ask him where he gets tit. But the reverse is the case, some parents will not ask the child. When i was grade 10, I had four friends and two of them smoked cannabis. There was a day when one of them encouraged me to test the cannabis, when I tested it at first time, when i got home that very day; my father realized that something was wrong with me. He asked me, I refused to tell him the truth.
Since then, he was monitoring my movement with my friends unknowingly to me: on that bad day, my father caught smoking cannabis in the bush with my friend and he said, Joseph, I see you’.
“Fear gripped my heart and I ran from the bush, and all my friends ran away. I was panicking with fear because I never knew what my father I refused to go home and was hanging around my house environment; and I can’t lie again because I was caught red handed. When I finally got home, I ate my food and slept peacefully; my father did not say anything to me on that day.

“The next day, my father called me and told me about the story of men that had mental disorder due to smoking cannabis. He showed me some of them in the street, and showed me how their family members were not happy. He took me to psychiatric hospital and the doctors showed me some young men at my age that had madness due to smoking. He also gave me some articles to read, and showed me some videos about how smoking damages certain organs of the body; how some people got cancer due to smoking.
“He sent me to counsellor, and the counsellor advised me about smoking: and the counsellor sent me to hospital to check my heart. After i went for the checkup, ‘the result was not good to hear. The result said that my blood is getting thicken and formed cloth inside my veins and arteries which can result to heart attack and sudden death. Immediately, I made up my mind that ‘I will never smoke again because I was scared of death. That was how my life changed for good; I refused to walk with them from that moment.
Today, two of them that we’re smoking together are died from certain diseases associated to smoking. One of them cough for 7 years before he died. This was because they became addicted to smoking, and could not control themselves again. I am here healthy and sound; I realized that my father does want me to die at a young stage.” Mr. -Joseph

WHAT ARE THE THINGS I DID AS A CHILD OR WAS DONE TO ME AS A CHILD THAT YOU WON’T DO TO YOUR CHILD TODAY?
Back to this topic, when I was a kid, my father always talked to me like a soldier. The moment I am offended, I get punished. I was very scared of my father because of this act. I love my mother because he never punishes me since I was born nor she has beat me. Therefore, I talked to my mother, shared my challenges and she helped me to get over it. I have never explained my challenges to my father since I was born because of fear.
The moment when my father came back from work, we as his children cannot go out by 8:00pm in the evening. My father must see me in my room; failure to see must result in punishment.

WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY FTHER’S PUNISHMENT IN MY LIFE
Though, it was normal and something that was good in his sight because he doesn’t want me to be wayward child and my siblings. He never understood that his behaviors have consequences in our lives as his children. The consequences are:
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✅Low self Esteem: this made me lose confidence; when I grew up, it was hard for me to stand in the congregation and express myself or present a topic. I was very good at writing, if you leave me alone, I can write a topic about certain things but cannot stand in the presence of people of present it.
I don’t like talking so much; if you are good at talking, if you and I fight together, even though you are guilty. If you can talk very well, you will be justified because I won’t say anything if they asked me, ‘what happened’. It affected my life when I was defending my project in the final year. Even my friends that I helped in chapter 4 of their projects, about 6 of them had ‘A’ in their projects while I had ‘B’ because I could not defend very well. It was my biggest challenge.

✔️Fear: this had caused me fear to the extent I can’t face some pressures in life. Whenever I heard bad news some years back, I felt like my spirit was about to leave my body. I got pain in the heart and sweat all over my body. Sometimes, when I heard bad news, I went out to ease myself more than 4 times. I got scared easily.

WHAT ARE THE ONES I WON’T ALLOW MY CHILD TO DO? AND WHAY?
✔️I won’t allow my child to develop low self-esteem just like me: I want my child to have confidence to speak anywhere at any time without fear. Expressing himself/herself at all times because I don’t want him/her to behave like coward in some situations just like me. I want him/her to be bold like lion- face congregation, and talk.
WHY?
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If you can't sell yourself to someone, you are not good. There must be balance in everything you do. Effective communication is very good in this generation. I watched a video of a secondary school student that won the award and was given a scholarship to read I abroad. I knew when I was at his level, I was better than him but she was able to communicate more effectively than me, I saw the way he composed those words, and his confidence; the zeal in him why he was speaking; his ascent, and I knew that was what I lacked.
Therefore, I don’t want my child to lack such things, I want to train her in a way that will have confidence.
Fear: I realized mistake should be an opportunity to make amendment, but whatever I make mistakes I got scared. There was a time I failed a course as a result of my absence on the day of the examination due to a change of time. I became feared and never concentrated on the other courses. It affected my academic performance that semester; thank God I had two courses remained. Fear makes me confused and unstable.

WHY?
I want my child to face fear: fear is part of life and you must face it. The more fearless you are, the more you overcome fear. I will let him/her understand that fear has two meanings: forget everything and run and face everything and rise. If you are ready to face it, you will rise; and if you are running away from fear, you will continue running away from it until the fear kills hunt you down.

I stand up for success, and success is not achieved by merely making mouth, No room for laziness, no room for idleness. Success comes to the people who are desperately and consciously searching for it. When it seems unsuccessful or you smell failure around you, never discourage yourself to be successful.
“Discouragement and failure are the two surest stepping stones to success.” - Dale
Thank you for reading my post.