The Reason I Still Get Up

There have been a series of questions that run through my mind, and I also ask myself on some days: what is this thing that I'm always rushing towards? When I wake up every morning, I get myself prepared for the next activities of the day. The bills that come with it, and I remember that money is not optional. And at the same time, I also know that everything isn't about money.

I keep working because I have a life to build, and I'll say that is the main reason. As a young architect, there is always this pleasant feeling that comes when I contribute my quarter and I turn the idea running through my head into reality that people can use, see, and live with. And on the other hand, I also get quite some satisfaction when it comes to writing, though it can be very hard sometimes. And most times, I sit to write down some things in my note because I have something bothering my mind, and when I put it into writing, I tend to understand myself more better.
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At the same time, I have people in my life that I care about. Because as a man, I want to be more useful to my family. I want to have more than enough so I can continue giving when need be, not because I am after the praise that comes with it, but because I always know what it feels like when help matters. I also want to explore new things, learn things that matter, come up with and create new things, travel, and also experience a life that is much bigger than just working and working and working.

Still, there are some days when I think of these things, andi they seem very far away. And when those days randomly appeared, I did not think about purpose that time. What comes to my mind is that next thing ahead of me. Continue what I have been doing in terms of finishing the drawings. Responding to my messages. Rounding up the work and submitting it. Then I rest. And when a new day comes, I embrace it to start again.

And I have had deep thoughts about what purpose really means; maybe it's not always one grand answer waiting somewhere ahead. Maybe as we grow, it also changes. And at some stage in our lives, trying to survive might just be enjoyable. And then as we move on, we try asking ourselves who we can admire and love and what we can build and look closely at and pay more attention to the parts of our lives that actually feel meaningful.

Yes, I still work for money. No doubt about that. Because if I say otherwise, that would be a big lie. But over the years, I have been looking beyond that. Because some days in the future, I want to look back and actually see the life I participated in, not the one that I've been ensuring. And for me, I have always created more rooms to get curious, because when we continue to live our lives without sitting down and asking meaningful questions, such a life will end up becoming a routine that we get so familiar with that we forget why we started or what we are doing.

Thank you for reading.

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