The Night My Phone Stayed in the Room

"Let your phone rest a bit now; don't go out with it," one of my sisters said when I reached for my phone one afternoon when I was charging it.

I had gone to visit my elder sister one Saturday afternoon, and after we had lunch, I immediately put my phone on one of the chairs in the sitting room because I wanted to help her out with some things that I went there to do. I told myself I would not check my phone until I'm done. But a few minutes later, my hand has gone looking for my phone without my permission. After unlocking it, there was no message. I went through my mail, closed it. Opened my WhatsApp, still nothing. Then I realized that I was not looking for anything. I was just searching for something to look at.

Then I purposely decided to checkmate myself. I dropped the phone in the room and went out. For the first two hours, I was doing fine. I continued with everything I was doing, arranging everything, sitting outside gisting, playing with the kids, and answering different curious random questions they were asking. I watched how the environment turned darker, and after those hours, my mind started wondering and feeling restless. I was wondering whether someone has texted me about their work or someone has called to ask for anything. If anything has happened, I just was not there to tell about it or know about it.

We stayed outside for a long time, close to four hours, without touching my phone. I could have gone longer, but it was already getting late outside. And when I am fast asleep, I could go hours without touching my system or phone, obviously, but when I am awake without them, it always feels different. When I'm sleeping, that choice has been removed. But when I'm active and awake, the choice is open. And recently, I have realized how often I stay on my phone because silence feels unfinished, and the majority of what I do is on it if I'm not with my system.

So, how dependent am I? I'll say more than I can imagine or even admit. I always need my phone to communicate, for my work, payment, direction, and other things that I can't think of now. But it is not every time that I require it or every minute. It is the escape it gives me sometimes when nothing demands my attention; that's why I depend on it for.

When I got inside the room that night after everything, I had gotten several messages, and missed calls. I responded to the messages immediately, then I dropped it back where I took it. That was the part I had not expected to discover.

Thank you for reading.

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