I Was Not Part of the Agreement

If anyone comes to me and offered me something, let me say money and in the process, I was filmed collecting it, I keep thinking which would hurt more, knowing that the came came to me and offered to help, or knowing that person approached me so that others can see him helping me.

I have seen series of videos like that online and I have physically seen some myself. The last one I witnessed was during Christmas when some people packed by the road side and were giving cooked rice and money to some people who were seated by the roadside. While sharing the rice and the money, one of them had already positioned a camera to capture and record the event with their faces showing. I saw how a lot of these people adjusted themselves in a comporting manner before stepping forward. I noticed everything that happened because I was in a shop opposite the place the whole thing took place. There was a particular man that even made a funny move because after collecting the package, he moved closer to the camera to be seen very well.

I cannot just conclude here and cannot say or see what was in their minds while giving those stuff. Maybe they all care in a genuine way. And maybe they only did it for the sake of the internet. That I cannot really say. But as this topic came up and I remember that event, one of the people I kept thinking about was that man who made the funny move. Did he willingly did that because he wanted to appear in the film, or because if he hadn't, he might not be giving the package?

Though there were others who adjusted themselves to, but my attention caught the man. But judging from the outside, both choices could look like a consent. Only him knew and the food meant to him during that festive period.

Trying to phantom the right answer to give seems uncomfortable. If I am in desperate need of that help and I have no other options, I might consider that help even after knowing what the giver wants, which is attention. The money and hunger will not vanish because I had discovered his selfish side. I would rather collect what he has to offer than prove I had too much pride to accept an imperfect kindness.

Still, accepting the offer does not mean I will totally approve everything that comes with it. The person giving me the help might be thinking he had traded something for a grateful story, but I will know that I had received help, not signed away my right to fell uncomfortable. I will thank him if he is worth it and be honest with him l, not a performance.

And maybe the deepest problem is that the person giving the help gets to select what they are doing means to them, while the person who is receiving the help must live with what it means to them. They can carry on with their videos and post it for clout. And tomorrow, he might meet those same viewers at the road side again.

I might decide to accept the help. But one thing I would never do is to call that arrangement a beautiful one because my need was met. There is a big difference there.

Thank you for reading.

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