Holding Onto Memories, Not People
I was scrolling on TikTok when I saw a post where the author said she was longing to meet her old school friend, but she regretted ever meeting her because she treated her like a stranger.
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We need to understand that people change, not always because they want to, but because circumstances and life experiences shape them.
In 2011, I had a best friend. We used to hang out and play together. He was a generous guy, and some of my readers may have read the story about the friend who used to buy food for me daily when I needed it the most; it was him.
I left home that same year, and two years later, when I visited again, he told me how the people he called friends treated him badly and refused to reciprocate when he needed their help.
I did my best to make him happy, and after I left, I never went back there. It has been more than 12 years since we last saw each other. I know those painful experiences may have changed him. I still care about him deeply, but I am not planning to meet him because the vibe we once shared may never be the same again.
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What could have changed?
Why can’t we bond like we used to?
We are no longer the teenagers we were back in 2011. We are now men with responsibilities. We have priorities. Compared to those days when we played football and PlayStation games together, our interests have changed. So meeting again may never feel the same as it did back then.
The second reason why meeting an old friend can be a mistake is that sometimes, one person carries the memories while the other does not value them the same way. The things you hold dear may mean nothing to the other person. That is why you may feel excited to see them because of what you shared in the past, but they feel nothing, because to them, you are not as special as they once were to you. Those memories are special only to you.
Sometimes, the best thing to do is to keep the memories dear to yourself and not try to rekindle a spark that has already been lost.
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Hmm, I think you’re right. Honestly, I’ve never really thought about it that way, we truly learn every day.
I haven’t had the experience of visiting an old friend in a long time, but Once in a blue moon, we talk on the phone, but the conversations aren’t as lively or as fun as they used to be. Still, I don’t dwell on it. I believe everyone is fighting their own battles in life. I’m not going to blame people for not being the way they used to be.
This an interesting read all the way through.
Well, it doesn't feel alright when you hope to meet a long time friend you haven't seen in a while, only to do that and see that you don't share that friendliness again. Though we grow and our interests change, it could feel unsettling. I just hope we find that peace and fulfilment each in growing up.
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I can relate to it. People change, perspective change and naturally feelings can also change. I noticed such a thing many time but still there are some friends who give us the same feeling like old days. Maybe they are the true friends.
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