Forgiveness is for Peace, Not for Them

Have you ever been hurt to the extent that the only thing on your mind is revenge? Nothing else matters to you except finding a way to make the person pay for what they did to you.

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Well, people who often find themselves in that situation are usually those who trust too easily or keep giving people second chances, and that is not me.

One chance is enough to prove yourself. One chance is enough to hurt me. If you miss it, that is the closest you will ever get to hurting me because, in my book, there are no second chances for people who disturb my peace of mind.

I am not the revenge kind of person. My attack and defense mechanism is silence and distance.

If you are making me angry or doing something I don’t like, the first thing you get from me is silence. If what you did is forgivable, my anger doesn’t last long; a few minutes is usually enough. If it is something serious but still forgivable, a sincere apology can go a long way. But if what you did is terrible, especially if it could put me in harm’s way, I simply distance myself from you.

We will still greet each other. We may even talk about random things. But I will never allow you into my private space again.

Keeping malice does more harm to the offended person than to the offender. You spend years thinking about someone who is living their life just fine. Your heart aches whenever you remember them, while they have probably forgotten you even exist.

I don’t take revenge because I don’t give people enough opportunities to hurt me so deeply that I start thinking about paying them back.

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Some people may see my silence as revenge, but to me, it is simply my way of protecting my peace.

Something happened recently during our final-year project. The person, also a coursemate, working with our supervisor, asked each group leader to submit the names and details of their members. I wasn’t online at the time, so one of my group members submitted ours.

Later, I saw complaints that she hadn’t done it properly, so I prepared the details again and sent them to the guy in charge. He didn’t reply. Instead, he changed our chat to 24-hour disappearing messages, which I found quite rude.

I didn’t question him or argue with him. I chose silence. Hopefully, he won’t need any information from me in the future because all he will get is that same silence.

That is how I deal with people: I cancel access to me. No fights, no arguments, so there’s nothing left to forgive.

I am no longer angry with him, but I remember what he did. That is how I deal with everyone. I don’t forget the wrong people do to me, not because I am holding a grudge, but because those experiences teach me how to relate with them going forward.

Forgiveness isn’t about showing mercy to those who wronged you. It is about protecting your own peace of mind. In the end, you need forgiveness more than they do.

Just call me Burl.
I am a professional gamer, motivational speaker and a crypto enthusiast
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