The Cost Of Selflessness.

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Can’t really remember what prompted the action, but I remember going through my expenses for the year late last year, and the figure I had expended shocked me.

At the time I didn’t have a good phone and could also not boast of a good shoe. In fact, one time my colleague made mockery of me because my phone model was outdated and my shoe had an opening at the heel.

It was quite an embarrassing moment for me, but you see, these incidents I spoke of were a wake-up call to be better, be selfish, and be more self-deserving and self-loving.

The irony of this whole experience was that I could get these basics for myself, but then I was more invested in providing for my family, so I felt I could manage or make do with what I had.

Notably, this messiah syndrome was self-inflicted; ranging from my position in the family, I felt it was my responsibility as an adult to give back.

Well, I looked around my household and saw everyone was doing well and up-to-date except me. Quite frankly, that was another wake-up call for me, realizing how much burden I have brought upon myself.

Indeed, it is a thing of joy to be able to provide for one's family, but then when this provision comes at one’s expense, it becomes a thing of concern.

I am of the opinion that whatever we do for others should not take a toll on us. And if we would struggle to be available or to provide, then we shouldn't commit.

Basically, if you are among the sets of people that can recall yourself from activities that are detrimental to your well-being, then you don’t know how lucky you are because not many individuals are able to spot that something is amiss as they get too invested in providing for their loved ones.

You know, my experience as well as this prompt did reminds me of a friend I had in the US. His story was a pathetic one, really, as barely a few years after he had relocated to the US, he was already collecting credit cards and loans ranging to tens of thousands of dollars to send to Nigeria to his brother to build a house for himself.

The sad part of my friend’s story was that before leaving for the US, he had left his brother and his sister with a POS (point of sale) (financial transaction) business that was doing very well.

In fact, both businesses were making a profit of 500,000 and 300,000 Naira weekly, but then somehow my friend still felt responsible for his siblings even after establishing them.

Well, I guess it’s the firstborn mentality that plague us Africans, and every time I preach against what he was doing, I often question, “you keep taking care of your younger ones. How about yourself?”

My friend worked so hard that it affected his health. I mean, he even had to sell his plasma for some stipends, and this greatly affected his health too.

So, seeing how badly he over laboured, I kept intervening by advising him to be selfish and you know whats funny ? Took me a while to take my own advise when it came to my turn lol.

Well I guess it’s better late than never and currently with my new found trait of selfishness, I have never been more happier and less overwhelmed with life.