Lessons From A Rough Childhood

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We often hear people say there are no manuals to parenting and that one can never be too careful nor get it right 100%. My understanding of this statement is that you could try to raise your children in the most "God-fearing way," and they end up a menace to society.

I remember a friend of mine telling me about his childhood. According to him, he grew up with his stepmother, and he had the most horrible experience as he was greatly mistreated.

But, despite how rough his childhood was with little or no parental guidance (as his father was rarely available, and his stepmother didn't care), he turned out alright. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for his stepsiblings, as they ended up becoming deviants.

The twist in his experience made me interested in his story, so I questioned, "If you lacked parental guidance and grew up under the harshest conditions, how come you turned out ok and your stepsiblings, who had it all, turned out the opposite?"

He smiled and gave me a simple response, stating that people do not often value what they have at their disposal.

He didn't just stop there with his response; he took me down memory lane, telling me how he listened to his stepmother's advice to his step-siblings.

As he narrated his experiences further, he told me how he would always watch from afar whenever his stepmother cautioned her children the moment they went out of line.

He added that while his stepsiblings did not listen to or heed any of their mother's advice, he did, and that was how he was able to become a successful adult despite his rough start at life.

For quite a while I pondered on my friend's experience, wondering where the stepsiblings missed it and why they did not turn out as good as my friend did. I had so many unanswered questions, especially coming to the awareness that children are born with no existing knowledge of right or wrong.

After several critical thinking and reevaluations of my friend's situation, I was back at an opinion of mine, which states that however a child turns out later in life is greatly dependent on the parents and the environment that they grew up in.

Yes, there are manuals for however or whoever we aim at becoming.

You see, parents who let their children get away with an offense when they ought to be punished according to the gravity of that offense will mostly raise deviants and hoodlums. And this can be seen in my friend's story, as he added that his stepsiblings were never punished by their parents when they misbehaved or did any wrong.

They were never made to face the consequences of their actions, which made them void of accountability.

In my friend's case, his stepmother would not hesitate to punish him by seizing his privileges and even hitting him at the slightest errors. An action of hers that led him ery meticulous in all that he does.

The thing is, my friend saw the ugly side of life at a tender age, and from his story, life taught him really early, so it was very easy for him to make the conscious decision of wanting to live a better life.