Punishment or Reward? Finding the Right Balance in Parenting
Parenting is getting tougher with time and it is very important to understand what is right and wrong for children these days. Earlier, children did not get half as much love, I would not say that they were only punished, but nowadays you see more and more parents loving their children and fulfilling all their demands due to which you can see a lot of change in their behavior. We also have a little girl in our house who is about 4 years old right now. Well, today's children are much smarter if we compare ourselves and they operate smartphones very well. They know everything about where to find things. Firstly, the memory of children is much sharper due to which they learn things very easily. We should ensure that when children are young, they are taught something good which will have a positive impact on their future rather than letting them waste their time by giving them smartphones. These days you must have seen that even small children are holding smartphones and making calls on YouTube or Instagram, which is very dangerous and you should avoid this thing. You see, it is very important to maintain a balance in everything and I feel that whatever habits you inculcate in children, they will get skewed in the same way.
If your child does any mischief then sometimes we have to punish him because it is necessary, if you keep loving him all the time then maybe things can prove to be dangerous for you.
Punishment -:
Sometimes children make a lot of mistakes that warrant punishment, and sometimes it's necessary. If you're constantly doting on them, and they get upset and start to get close to someone, you might feel a little embarrassed. And you're also afraid your child might say something in front of you or do something that would embarrass you. So children are not taught manners in school, but in your family. The way you treat each other, the children also start treating you in the same way. Many times, knowingly or unknowingly, we say such things which we should not say in front of children, but children learn things very fast due to which they catch them. And when they use those words on you, you feel quite surprised, but in reality, it is you who have taught them all that. So you have to be very careful with your children as to what things should be said in their presence and what things should not be said.
Sometimes punishment is also necessary because children get spoiled due to excessive love and affection, you must have heard here.
Rewards -:
See, when you punish a child for something, then you should also give him rewards when he does something right, even if it is small. This makes the children feel happy and they get encouragement to do something good again, which is very important. But this happens not only for children, it happens for us also, whenever we do some work and if we get rewarded for it or we are encouraged for that work, then we feel good and we try to do the same work again and again or keep doing something even better so that we keep getting some rewards. Yes, although when we grow up, we start thinking about a lot of things, but when children are small, they do not think about many things, this is what I like about them, their mindset is much more clear about things, I feel so.
over loved -:
See, nowadays parents have started loving their children too much due to which their habits get spoiled a lot, like if your child demands something from you in childhood then you fulfill it, I will not say that you should not fulfill the demands of your children, you should definitely give them the things they need, but the things that are needed are not needed, it is not so necessary to buy every single thing and you grow up with everything. Many times it happens that we fulfill the children's wishes and in such a situation also they get used to things and FIR becomes a habit for them. Children are very smart, they know who listens to them and who does not, they deal with people in the same way and if the child considers you good, it means that you keep them happy all the time.
Balance -:
Look, no matter what it is, it is important to have a balance in life. Whether it is loving children or punishing them or not giving them rewards, if anything becomes excessive then its results are always bad. So we all have to remember that a balance should be maintained in all these things so that there is no change in the nature of your child. If you are successful in doing all this then you can become a good parent.
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You’re right, balance is so important. Children need both love and clear boundaries to grow well. :)
Yes you are correct mam, if we are able to set the boundaries then it is amazing
Perfectly said.. having a balance is necessary, because when you discipline a child too much sometimes you loose connections with them and when you dont discipline them they tend to go astray.
Totally, a perfect balance is necessary. If we are able to maintain it.
I completely agree that smartphones should not replace quality time with parents. Children learn so much through interaction, conversation and play. It was a thoughtful read 🤗
Yes i agree with you 🙂
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Thank you so much 🙏
Kids of recent days are quite different from those of the old days. They hold a grudge if you punish them without a valid reason. They have the courage to say anything, even if it goes against their parents, and it's a good and bad thing at the same time. It can give parents a hard time. I think friendly conversation is best if they make a mistake and receive punishment, parents should give the reason why they were punished.
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You have great points. See children are like mirrors they always reflect what they see and hear at home. That's why discipline is very very important to correct their wrong behaviours.
But, discipline should be balanced and administered with love, As parents, we must always remember that our words, attitudes, and actions are lessons for our children, even when we are not intentionally teaching them. Whoever we want them to turn out to be in life, we must first model those qualities ourselves. Because these children, hmmmm, they may not always do what we say, but they are very likely to do what they see us do. That's why I think training should starts with we the parents. Thanks.
Very nice👍 your post is very thoughtful.
both of them are good if we choose it wisely