Do kids need privacy?

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Do kids need privacy?

The subject at hand is a very interesting one. It’s somewhat complicated and delicate and it done well would result to a beautiful children parent relationship but if not it will result to something not too cool and may likely put a strain on the parent to child relationship.

Some parents are too free with their kids and leads leads to raising spoilt brats while some are too strict it’s their children and the children get to never want o have anything to do with their parents after they’ve grown due to their over protectiveness.
So I’d say that children need their privacy but this is not some that’s absolute rather it’s a gradual process. The extent of the privacy given to children would depend on their age bracket. Children who are within one to seven years do not need privacy from an adult standpoint because they need dp be constantly supervised to ensure their environmental and emotional well-being. At this stage, an open door policy is very much needed.

As the children grow from age 8-12 years, they start desiring small doses of privacy such as closing their bathroom door when bathing, they may want to have their own room, drawer or even keep a journal. Giving them these little privacy here and there would help them to develop self worth and autonomy. They get to gradually learn to be really and take care of themselves.

From this stage they enter into adolescence from 14 years and above, at this stage, their privacy becomes more important to them because they are trying to develop their identity, have boundaries and also become independent. Total open policy like barging into their rooms and checking everything they do may damage their trust but also giving them total freedom without checkmating them would also be very risky hence the call for balancing dealing with them at this stage.

How long should an “open-door” policy last?

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When the kids are still tender and until they are about 12 years old, it would be advisable to leave the open door policy till this age and then from age 12, there should be a gradual transition in a trust based policy. At this stage, the door may be closed but the relationship between the child and the parent is open. At this stage, the parents encourages their child to communicate with them openly meaning that even though the child has his or her privacy, they still choose to share their lives with their parents.

How to allow privacy without losing control

The parent should let the child have autonomy gradually meaning that their privacy should be increased as they show more responsibility. For example, they can close their bedroom door but there should still be guidelines like no staying awake with devices all night or watching movies all night or sneaky behaviors.

They parents can set clear boundaries by having open conversations with their adolescent. You discuss with them their need for privacy and also your need to supervise them. These boundaries when clearly stated helps.

The parents should learn to trust their children but verify them also as against spying on them constantly, focus on the signs that speaks of their well and intervene when you sense something unusual.

Above all of these, the parents should make their children trust them and be willing to confide in them. This is better than any form of spying or monitoring.

Is there a “right way”?

There is not a universal formulae for this but the first step would be to ensure the children’s safety first, then gradually introduce dependency and privacy to them and then come to a point of mutual trust between the child and the parents.
Children learn to respect their parents when they feel trusted and also supported. The role of the parent is to is not be be a guard but a guide

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