Facing the bull by the horn.

Leaving school at an early age in my life made me lose myself and became afraid so many things even the ones that don't exist.

For this second episode of week 234: Fear. When I saw the topic I started asking myself what fear is. What is fear for you reading this post. Is possible that fear means something else to you and mean another to me. Aside the dictionary definition of fear which is - A strong, unpleasant emotion or feeling caused by actual or perceived danger or threat. I can't really add much to that. I believe that it has really explained to us what fear is. When one is afraid it means that there is this feeling caused by actually danger or a perceived one be it real or not. I believe that we have in one way or the other feard something in our lives. It is not a feeling that is new. We all face it now and then.

This image belongs to me.

TELL US ABOUT ONE TIME YOU HAD TO FACE YOUR FEAR AND DO SOMETHING ANYWAY.

I was actually tied down by the fear of unknown after I left school. I was afraid I could never make it again if I go back to school. I was afraid that my responsibilities as a wife and mother won't allow me go far again in school. I was afraid that I may not be able to pay my school fees seeing that my children were also in school then. I was afraid of what people will say when they see me go back to school with uniform. Fear of this and that.

One day after much prayers and consultation I decided to face the bull by its horn. We do we fear death so much and after everything we still die anyway? This is one of the questions that came to my mind. I also decided to block my ears against what people will say because if I go back to school people will talk. If I refuse to go back to school people will still talk. So what do I do? Do what I know is the right thing of course. I also decided to work hard to make sure I contribute to the family and pay my own school fees as at when due.

I FACED SCHOOL AND DECIDED TO FACE THE CONSEQUENCES

Sometimes we need to forget about the world and face our lives. I don't need to please people. I don't need to wait until everyone accept what I am doing before going on. All I need is my approval and that's it.

When I went back to school 2013, it was very tough. Just like my fears, hunger set in, people laugh, my husband started complaining because people are already talking to him and asking him to stop his wife from going to school. I was always going to school in an empty stomach and I will stay till evening. Most times after school because I don't have money to take a bike home I will stand at the school gate to wait for a lift from any students going home with his car or bike. Hmmm! It was really tough on me and the family at large. But there is this determination in me to change the status quo. I didn't care what people were saying. All I wanted to do was to Change my level and I did just that.

Going back to school brought out a novelist that was hidden in me. I never knew that I can write a novel until after my graduation. I started seeing lots of ideas and today I have written more than ten novels.

MY TESTIMONY

The fear if gone. All I see today is a brighter future as a novelist. I am believing God that one day I will be on a national television because of the impact of my novels to students. So no more fear. Only faith and resilience. All glory to God.