Model First, Monitor Later: Raising Kids With Digital Wisdom

One of the things I have learnt so far on the digital side of life is that if you don't learn how to filter some things out of the way, they will overwhelm you. A lot is happening in the digital space, and one way we could save ourselves from developing heart attacks or feeling we aren't doing better is to watch what we feed our eyes with and on.

This is something that has saved and kept me from getting too tensed or feeling all sad for the day, especially with the numbers of bad news, negative comparisons and whatnot about different people. People have different meanings to things and for someone like me not to dwell on the bad side of what people feel or think about me, I'd rather shift my focus on stuff that inspires and encourages me to improve and do better.

When it comes to teaching kids how to handle and have a healthier digital lifestyle, what I'd do in my case is to set an example first. There is a saying that, "be a model before a monitor." Everything is not only about monitoring kids to stop a habit or behave in a certain way, they need to be led by example first. This is because kids are imitators. They learn faster when they watch what others do and this is where modelling comes in.

As someone like me who's going to be a mother someday, I want to teach my kids what I do, and it's not for me to preach only what I say and not what I do. Setting a good example, especially in the digital space, is very important because kids might easily believe everything they see and think many of them are normal when they are actually bad.

For instance, it's important to set screen time for yourself as a mother and not to be glued to the phone or computer all day. When kids see me doing this, they also want to imitate me and they can't do the opposite.

Curate, don't consume everything

It is not everything we see online we must accept or embrace. The need for filtering is so important that not only are we helping ourselves as adults, but the children, too. I will ensure they don't consume everything online, starting from unfollowing accounts that aren't inspiring or are becoming too bad for their lifestyles.

There are times when I have accidentally followed some accounts which I later found out aren't useful for me, so I delete them. In this way, I would be setting a good example to my kids, too, making them aware to only choose content that educates, inspires and teaches good practice.

Also, the need for having the focus mode or app timers should be taught to them. One way to get me away from distraction is by setting my DND (Do not disturb) feature on, and at that point, there wouldn't be any calls or messages coming in, which could take my focus away.

When it's time to concentrate, especially when it comes to using our digital gadgets, there's a need to take away any distractions to achieve a great result.

Another aspect I wouldn't fail to teach my kids is becoming digitally empathetic. What do I mean? Making kids aware early that humans are behind the screen and they freely express themselves anyhow they want without being concerned about the other person's feelings.

I would teach them the importance of online kindness and not to be involved in cyberbullying. Let them know that technology is not a toy but a tool to pass your words kindly because the impact of words can be overwhelming. They should learn how to say nice and positive words to others online and not get involved in scorning or shaming anyone they meet online.

We have a lot of them online that they don't choose their words before sending them out and whoever is affected would feel the impact negatively. There are cases where people's words have made others commit suicide or become extremely isolated, and they begin to develop low self-esteem.

I would make sure my kids learn this online kindness early so it can be a part of them not to join bad vices.

Lastly, the importance of ensuring I don't demonise technology but humanise it. Technology isn't bad, but the truth is that many people now use their digital space for the wrong intent, which has made people believe technology is doing more harm than good.

I would teach my kids how to use their digital space for good. Things like engaging in online skills, watching educational videos, creating short videos through their creativity, joining DIY challenges where they can hone their skills and be a master at their work and, most importantly, I would ensure there is balance, curiosity and self-awareness in all they do.

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