[BrainDump] How to deal with smartphone addicition, especially with kids!

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I'm trying something new this time. Well, it's not very new on this blockchain because more people are doing it already. I'm talking about sharing my thoughts on things.
I somehow always have a lot of ideas about all kinds of topics. But nowadays I seem to think more about things. It might be a midlife thing....
I have gathered quite some knowledge over the years, but I certainly don't have the idea that I know everything and that my point of view is 'the right one'. On the contrary... I've read a book recently that stated that we should reconsider more in life (Adam Grant - Think Again. See my short book review here. Adam states that you shouldn't get too attached on your own points of view and that reconsideration is very useful. Stay open and curious about viewpoint from others.

And what better place to reconsider things and exchange thoughts about different subjects and statements than on Hive?
Hive is a melting pot of many different people. Different ages, gender, backgrounds, race, upbringings, beliefs and so on.
A great place to exchange thoughts on different subjects.

That's why I decided to share these with you.
I hope you like the idea and would share your opinion with me and the other readers and that we can have nice discussions about the subject in the comments. Feel free to share your thoughts on the subject!

Share your thoughts! Reply in the comments!

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Blessing or curse

Smartphones are great! You have an almost infinite amount of information in your pocket. With all the apps it's like a digital Swiss army knife. You can navigate, pay with it, make photographs, watch movies and besides that they also seem to be used to call people 😂
Like a lot of you, I've grown up without smartphones, even without mobile phones. I've never missed them back then. I remember seeing a Youtube video that dates from 1998 from a Dutch journalist that interviewed people on the streets and asked them whether they wanted a mobile phone.

As you can see, most of them didn't want one because they don't needed one. Most of them say it's not necessary and they don't want to be reachable all the time. How different are the streets nowadays, where smombies (smartphone zombies) walk around. When people have to wait for 5 minutes they grab their phone. Yes, we are addicted to them now! At least many people are. And I admit I am too.

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Smartphone addiction

As I mentioned above, a lot of people are using their smartphones a lot. I didn't do much research, but I googled a bit and stumbled upon the following site:https://explodingtopics.com/blog/smartphone-usage-stats
They claim to have figures about the worldwide smartphone usage. And it showed me what I'd already expected: we're using our smartphones a lot!

Here are some of the figures:

  • On average, people spend 4 hours and 37 minutes on their phones each day.
  • On average, people check their phones 58 times per day.

Four hours is really long. And that is just an average! Just think about all the things you could do in those hours? People often complain there are too few hours in a day. When we stop using our smartphones we would have many more hours to spend. Even if we cut our smartphone use in half, it would give us a huge amount of extra time.
And 58 times a day is also a sign of addiction. Especially when you see the following breakdown they made:

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They also made an interesting breakdown per country by the way. It's interesting to see the differences.

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Apps and algorithms

It's actually not the phone itself that is addicting, it are the apps installed on them that are screaming for our attention. Apps designed to draw our attention. Apps designed to make us use the app as much and as long as possible to entertain us. But that is not why big tech is doing it. The more we use their apps, the more they earn!

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The social media apps run on algorithms that know exactly what you like based on the likes you give, but also how long you take a look at a video or picture. But they also collect information based on your smartphone sensors like your GPS location. They know if you visit fastfood restaurants frequently or if you have a favorite shop. Some even use the camera to check what you are exactly looking at on your screen. They use this information to create a profile of you so they can offer you the best experience. At least, in their eyes, because the best experience is the one that makes you use their app frequently. Scary huh!? But it is you that has given them permission to do this just by installing their app.

Here is an overview of right the TikTok App (Disclaimer: I asked AI to make this list):

  • Personal information: Such as date of birth, email address, phone number, profile photo, and videos.
  • Location data: TikTok can track the device’s location.
  • Profile information: Biography, sexual orientation, and religious beliefs.
  • User content: Uploaded photos, videos, voicemails, and other content.
  • Advertising and viewing behavior: Information about ads and videos viewed, as well as “likes.”
  • Browsing history: The app can also track the user’s browsing history.
  • Other data: Surveys, games, and other interactions.
  • Access to camera and microphone: TikTok has access to the phone’s camera and microphone for making videos and recording audio.
  • Access to storage: TikTok can save files on the phone.
  • Network access: The app has internet access and can collect network data.


    These apps are designed to exploit human weaknesses. They trigger our brain to produce endorphins, a substance that gives us a feeling of happiness, but also keeps us coming back to the app. People always hope the next post or video will be even more exciting, which often leads to the so-called doomscrolling. It’s very hard for us to resist them.


    And then I didn't even got into the constant notifications all the apps use to trigger your Fear Of Missing Out and make you grab your smartphone with every sound your phone makes. Not even to mention the phantom vibration syndrome where you think that your phone vibrates in your pocket.
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Kids and smartphones

If we as 'grown ups' can't resist smartphones and the addictive apps on them, how on earth can we expect our kids to resist them.
A study named in an article on Techradar tells us that the kids nowadays have a smartphone when they are 10 years old!

So why do we give them these smartphones at such a young age? I think we are afraid that our children to be excluded if they don’t have a smartphone. Many 'social activities' happen in group chats. Without a smartphone they can miss out on this and it can make them feel left out.

I keep reading more about the negative effects of smartphone usage, specifically for young kids. This generation that has grown up with a smartphone experiences quite a few disadvantages from excessive smartphone use.
Smartphone give continuous access to social media apps that can have a negative impact on the self-image of young children and teenagers. They are exposed to unrealistic pictures and ideals, which can make them feel insecure about themselves. Sometimes even leading to depressions.

Most children communicate mostly online, which impacts their real-life communication skills in a negative way. They find it harder to have face-to-face conversations and things as reading body language can't be done online. Also express emotions in person are way more difficult than espressing them with an emoticon 😢. This can make social interactions in the real world more difficult and less natural.

And then the algoritmes. Social media algorithms can give you a distored view on the world. Algorithms are made to show you more of what you already like or agree with and not showing you other facts or opinions. This creates a kind of bubble which limits exposure to different opinions and realities, and can give a false or narrow picture of the world.

And then we also have the physical issues like the "text neck and the "phone pinky". Some reports show that excessive smartphone use among children can lead to physical deformities and health issues.

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How I deal with it

I know I'm no better than anyone else. I am also susceptible to addictions. The first step is to recognize that this is the case. I did and I've been trying to get a grip on my phone usage since then. Back in 2024 I even wrote a blog about my dopamine detox and decreasing my smartphone usage.

Even though I've had some fallbacks, I did manage to cut down my phone usage significantly.
What I have done:

  • Disabling almost all notifications and instructed some people (mostly my family) to call me if they need me if they urgently need me.
  • Uninstalling a large amount of apps among which all social media apps like Youtube. When I want to use their services, I need to use a browser. Either on my smartphone or on a computer.
  • I stopped replying instantly. I used to feel the urge to reply to people that have sent me messaged. Although that is not necessary most of the times.
  • Keep an eye on usage. I added a screen time widget on my phone screen, so I can see how much time I have been spending.

There are some apps that can help you get back control over your phone usage by blocking apps or limiting your screen time, but for me those didn't work that well. For me the above actions worked better.

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What about my kids

As a father of two teenagers (14 and 16) I find it quite hard to regulate the phone usage of my kids. I know they spend a lot of time on their phone, but also a lot of their social life is happening on their phones.
We've tried setting time limits on their phones, but there are always ways to go around them. Kids are smart enough to find those. You can log into social media on all devices, so also from school laptops or chromebooks that can't be monitored by me. And I also heard a personal story of a kid from which the phone was blocked after 10:00PM, that had bought a 2nd hand phone herself and used that until deep in the night.
I think talking with your kids is the best way. Keep an eye on what they are doing (not too much, you also need to respect their privacy I think) and talk about what they do and the effects of it.
A good example of this is something that happened last week. My wife received a message from a friend that asked her a question while we had a family lunch. My wife put her phone away and my youngest was shocked that she didn't immediately reply to her friend. She said; "You are ghosting her". It showed that my daughter clearly thinks every incoming message needs to be answered as fast as possible. We had a good discussion about it. I don't know if it helped, but it might have given her some new insights.

We also have made rules about their phone use. We don't strictly monitor them with apps, but we do talk about it when we see they are spending a lot of time on their phones. We also instructed them to keep an eye on their phone usage via a screen time widget. Every now and then I ask them to show it to me, which then don't want to.

And maybe the best thing to do is give the right example. How can you ask your kids to spend less time on their phone when you're doing exactly the same. Kids see people on their phones always and everywhere. How can we expect them to do better than us.
I know we can't control others, but we should at least give the right example ourselves.

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Regulations

Apart from our role as parents, I also think there is a role for the governments. As it is very hard for people to resists the addictions, I think there should be regulations. And especially regulations that prevent big tech to use algorithms in their apps that make us addicted.
Some might find restriction patronizing, but because of the intentions of big tech to make us addicted and the powerlessness of many people to resist this, I think regulations are a necessary thing.

Also schools have their role. Kids spend a lot of time on school. In the past years many schools here in The Netherlands have taken actions. On the school my kinds go to there is a "in the locker or at home" policy, which is a good thing.
A friend of mine who is a vice-principal at a school noticed a big change after this policy became active at his school. It used to be very silent in school during the breaks since all kids were focused on their phones. After the policy became active, there it was noisy again. Kids were talking with each other and playing games.

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TL;DR

So, this was my first braindump. it has become quite a long one 😀
For this and the people that don't have time to read it all, or just are lazy, I'll sum up the most important parts.

  • Smartphones and (social media) apps are addictive
  • Worldwode, on average people use their smartphone 4 hours and 37 minutes a day
  • The addictions can have serious consequences for your mental and physical health
  • The generation that grows up with smarthones is lacking important social skills
  • Parents should talk with kids about their phone usage
  • People are easily addicted to the dopamine these apps give (many can't resist it)
  • Big tech knows this and makes use of this to keep us addicted
  • Governments should set up regulations to restrict the addictive effect of the apps.



This was my part. I'm really curious how you think about this subject. How do you deal with the smartphone addiction. Are you not addicted at all? How do you deal with the smartphone usage of your kids? Or if you don't have kids with smartphones (yet); how would you do it?
Let have a discussion about it in the comments!

Share your thoughts! Reply in the comments!

If you like this blog, feel free to reblog it, so we can get more responses!

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Friendlymoose

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6 comments

Good comparison with a digital swiss army knife, we use our phones in so many ways.
With kids it's very complicated, my teenagers are a bit younger (12 and 13) and I don't want to invade their privacy too much but I do want to keep them safe, talking is indeed my solution as well and hoping I teached them enough about the dangers, it's also important for them to be able to make mistakes.
I'm not even having a big phone addiction, more of a PC addiction due to splinterlands and everything around it, like you I decided to change that when it got too much 👍😁

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Smartphones are very useful only some of the apps are too addicting.
You're totally right. It can be difficult to find the right balance between safety and their privacy. I've experienced that when they grow older they get more privacy and freedom because they are smarter and have a better idea on how the world works.
Although they still think they know everything better 😂

Indeed, the time spend behind a laptop or PC can also become a lot. But you don't carry it everywhere and you really have to power it on first to use it. That makes the threshold to use a laptop or PC higher.

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I turn off alerts for everything except hive replies, email, text, messenger and calls. Those are the things that are most important to me.

I make my phone go "black and white" after 10pm everynight, which makes the other things way less enticing.

I set a time limit of 30 minutes per "doomscroll" type app - so that means 30 minutes across reddit, instagram, and the others like it. I don't watch shorts. I hate shorts / reels / tiktok. If a friend sends me one, I tell them I don't watch them.

They keep sending them. I ignore their messages that are shorts, and try to send them the same message again. I try to "save" them.

I much rather do things on the browser, on my PC. It ensures that the Internet is a place.

Having said this, there is an AMAZING YouTuber who has done a video on that very topic.

This lady creates so much brain food on her channel (particularly her newer videos) that if you can make the time for JUST ONE YouTube video - please let it be that one. Even watch it on slightly faster speed to use up your time wisely, but the pauses for effect really work well with Sarah's content.

She's created a big inspiration in me in terms of the sort of, and the styles of things that I want to write / enquire / focus on. These small, esoteric things that can mean so much when presented in an interesting and engaging way, without it being a lecture about things being "bad" and ending there.

In South Australia, where I live, smart phones have been banned from the classroom. They go into a "holding zone" (I guess) at the start of the school day, and kids cannot have them until its time to go (not sure about lunch / recess breaks) - but it definitely encourages play - (There's a school close to the gym I go to, and the yard is always full of kids actually interacting with each other! - instead of what we do as adults, which is stare at the device in our palms)

We really do get better value out of our lives be looking at each other's faces, and not looking at our phones.

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Thanks for your reply!

I turn off alerts for everything except hive replies, email, text, messenger and calls. Those are the things that are most important to me.

Turning off 99% of the alerts really helped me reduce the number of times I unlocked my phone significantly. I even had 'phantom vibrations' when in the days after I turned it off. That was a sign that I had done the right thing.

I removed all doom scroll apps and games from my phone. I've tried tools like you mention, that give you limited time, but even the half hour was brainless consumption for me. But that might be because of my algorithm 😂

We really do get better value out of our lives be looking at each other's faces, and not looking at our phones.

100% Real interaction is very important!

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I'm only replying instantly because I just posted my thing about my upcoming photography exhibition.

Android has built in time limiters for apps, buried deep in the settings. I use that. I used to think Android Auto was amazing when I first got my new car in November last year, now I literally only use it for music and maps (or audiobooks if its a longer drive).

I have turned off message alerts and calls for while I'm driving. They can fkn wait.

Please let me know your thoughts after you get the time to watch the video. It is so beautiful.

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On average, people spend 4 hours and 37 minutes on their phones each day.

Ummm What the actual %#@#%... I couldn't imagine being on my phone for that long in a day. But then again I work at a computer for about 10 hours a day soo I can't really complain.

But then again I am sure my Daughter is on her phone for that long and more.


Technology is a blessing and a curse really. I semi grew up with a computer and it changed the world. It wasn't detrimental to my upbringing or social skills or something like that. I think everything can be boiled down to HOW people use technology.

For instance, I only watch YouTube videos that 'teach me' something or I learn something. That can be Splinterlands Town Hall, or woodworking videos or 3D printing videos, or tech videos, etc. I always want to learn new things and getting at things.

Then there are people who use TikTok. I refuse to use it because so many time I have had family members tell me something they "learned" and just on hearing it I know it's 100% false, but they believe it because they saw a few videos about it on TikTok.

To boil it down really, I think Social Media as it currently stands.. needs to go away and it would solve so many problems. But that is just me.

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Thank you for your reply to my blog!

But then again I am sure my Daughter is on her phone for that long and more.

It's an average 😊
But I've seen 6+ hours on my kids phones sometimes as well.

I think everything can be boiled down to HOW people use technology.

I agree with that. The problem is that big tech has other ideas of how and how much we should use technology.

but they believe it because they saw a few videos about it on TikTok.
I've had quite some discussions with my kids that show me funny pranks on TikTok. I always ask them why they think it is real.

To boil it down really, I think Social Media as it currently stands.. needs to go away and it would solve so many problems. But that is just me.

I think so too. And I think our governments play an important role in this because the platforms won't initiate this themselves.

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My wife and I were resisting for a long(er) time with the first phone for our son... I think he didn't have any until 12-14 years... But, maybe it was ok, maybe it wasn't, as after that, he went in the same direction as other children from his generation...
Speaking from my perspective, I'm not that phone addicted, but I am probably Internet addicted... 😃

Speaking of pros and cons, I wrote about a similar topic before... About how we have all the information on one click, but we would rather spend time on stupid things, and ridiculous videos, doomscrolling the whole day... I found that very, very degrading... Especially for kids... I know there were things in the past when there was a witchhunt for PC games and how bad they are, but in the end, it helped me a lot with learning English, for example...

Unfortunatelly, I can't see too many benefits of doomscrolling on social media where people do dumb things, that have nothing to do with reality and life... All that time is thrown through the window, instead of learning something new, a new skill, or, as you said, learn to communicate IRL with other people...

I don't know what is coming, but I'm not sure about the values that these kids will get from their social network "screen time." 😞 I hope I'm just a grumpy old guy and I'm completely wrong...


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Thank you for commenting!

I know there were things in the past when there was a witchhunt for PC games and how bad they are, but in the end, it helped me a lot with learning English, for example...

I did that too! Some can really improve some skills. English as you said, but even 3D shooters can have a positive effect on your skills. Things like working together is often necessary and your reaction skills improve. I heard that surgery nowadays looks a lot like playing a computer game with controllers and screens an such. Not stating addiction to video games is not a problem though.
But I also haven't found out how doomscrolling could be useful in any way at all.

I don't know what is coming, but I'm not sure about the values that these kids will get from their social network "screen time." 😞 I hope I'm just a grumpy old guy and I'm completely wrong...

No one does. But I do think we should keep talking with our kids about it to know what they are doing and sometimes show what they are doing isn't very healthy.
Although it often is hard to convince teenagers to change their habits I do think sticking your head in the sand is even worse.

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(edited)

Well, mine is over 18 now, but teenage years are still on... It's a bit better than before, but not over yet... 😃 Currently, as a parent, I don't stick my head in the sand, but I don't push too much anymore... Recently, he learns the best from his mistakes and inexperience... I say mine, he listens or not, but in the end, the lesson is learned... Maybe a cheap one, maybe more expensive... 😃

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I have three children who don’t have their own phones yet, even though they want one. They’re still too young for it, as they’re only 8 and 7 years old. I believe keeping them busy and introducing them to more interesting activities than using a phone helps reduce their interest in it. For example, during the summer they’re engaged in swimming, football, and gymnastics. They also have plenty of friends nearby to play with for hours.

Of course, I sometimes allow them to use the phone—it’s almost impossible not to—but overall, they have so many other fun things to do that they stay happy without having a phone of their own.

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Thank you for your reaction. 7 and 8 is really too young to have your own smartphone I think. Although I do see kids walking round with them at that age. It's good that they can still have activities they enjoy. For you it will be the question when they will be getting one. At some point most of their friends will have them and you might feel your kids also should have one too. It will probably be earlier than you would like to yourself. But how to change this trend?

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(edited)

This is quite an interesting topic to address. In my country, it has practically become a cultural norm to give a child a cellphone at an early age as a tool to help them navigate daily life. What I mean is using it to “control and distract” the child in this case.

I don’t have children, so I wouldn’t know if this is good or bad from a parent’s perspective. But as someone who uses these devices and understands the power and ease with which inappropriate things can be done through them, I believe it’s very wrong to give children the kind of flexibility Venezuelan parents allow nowadays.

Starting with platforms like TikTok, Facebook, X, and Instagram these are superficial social networks where people mostly portray a life full of lies. The use of these platforms is supposed to be personal and “friendly” or a way to meet good people. The problem is, there are a lot of bad people with easy access to your information.

I remember once my underage sister was being harassed by a man on Instagram. We immediately took her phone away. I know my sister wasn’t at fault at all, but it was a way to protect her from the world.

Another thing that deeply worries me is the amount of pornographic and violent videos that appear on these platforms’ feeds. You don’t need to search for them or follow anyone specific, these social networks push harmful content in a morbid attempt to grab your attention and keep you consuming more.

I’d trade a cellphone for some storybooks, board games, or anything else that teaches values to my children (if I had any). I’d even go as far as to say I’d only give them a phone once they turn 18. If they need to send a message, they can ask an adult for help, and if they want to see someone, there’s nothing better than doing it face to face instead of through a screen.

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Thanks for your reaction. You've mentioned some points I didn't even address in my blog.

I remember once my underage sister was being harassed by a man on Instagram. We immediately took her phone away. I know my sister wasn’t at fault at all, but it was a way to protect her from the world.

It's not the first time I hear about 'grown' men that reach out to teenagers online. We have talked about this with our kids too. Told them people can pretend to be someone they are not. We told our kids that they could only accept friend requests from people they know in real life and that they can never use their real name online as well as share their address or whereabouts.

The harmful content is also worrying indeed. Although some platforms have moderators, you can't do anything when bad things happen during live streams.
And what to think about the AI generated content? If we already find it difficult to detect if things are fake, how can we expect kids to do it?

No, it's not getting easier to raise a kid or to grow up in times like this.
I may sound a bit negative, but I think proper education and regulation could help to change things for the better.

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