More than 80% of people are poor talkers
I have spoken with many people in my life, and I have gained conversational experience that has improved not only the way I speak, but also the way I think. For example, I have realized that people who talk too quickly or are in a hurry to express themselves rarely think before speaking.
People who are slow talkers, or who prefer not to speak at all, are more likely to be deep thinkers. Every human being goes through introspection; sometimes we think too much or talk too much.
People need to express themselves, whether through thoughts or words, and this is how we introspect. When our minds are unable to carry the weight of our thoughts, we are forced to think aloud, which we typically do by talking to ourselves.
I used to be a talker in my twenties, of course, because I was a high school teacher and had to talk, but I never did much inner reflection; I spent more time talking, leaving little or no room for thought.
I must admit that my inability to perceive things had far-reaching consequences. For example, I did many things spontaneously and randomly without thinking about whether or not I should do them, and they all had serious consequences.
However, at the age of 29, I noticed a shift in my behavior: I started talking less and thinking more.
However, I was still not doing enough.
People need to think more; the thought process that leads to talking is frequently undermined in people's attempts to communicate.
I have met a lot of people on social media who talk and take pride in insulting others, which is due to their lack of communication skills. More than 80% of people lack verbal intelligence.
When attempting to communicate, most people succumb to their emotions, ego, pride, financial status, foolishness, or complete lack of respect, and these are the worst people to ever try to reason with. Life is complex, and we must often delve deeply into our thoughts to grasp the essence of effortful communication.
When I was doing a diploma in college, I met some really nice people, and we only got along because we had similar thought processes and communication patterns. I was the overthinker in the group, so I was the quietest of them all.
Silence is a form of communication, and unless you understand this, you may not be a deep thinker. Many people believe that silence indicates weakness or an inability to say anything, but this is completely false.
Thinkers are more dangerous than talkers because the thought process involves endless deciphering and discovering. From two years ago to the present, I have experienced the most reflective period of my life.
I consider the consequences of potential actions even when there are none. I try to imagine possible scenarios in my head, especially in situations where I shouldn't, because the absolute state of normalcy and calmness scares me.
This is why I prefer not to manifest negative possibilities by discussing them; instead, I keep them in mind, reject them within myself, and continue to prepare for any type of uncertainty situation.
I have done crazy things in the past that I am not proud to admit, but I realized that I was fortunate to avoid the potential consequences of these actions. Sometimes I look at myself and wonder, "What if that action had consequences?".
This is why I tend to think before I act or speak. I like to weigh my actions and anything I need to say because we can never "undo" something we have said; it is been said, and whether it is intentional or not, the mind has said what the mind wants. Sometimes we do not mean to hurt people with what we say, but we do not consider how the receiver will perceive it and whether it was the right or wrong thing to say.
Because I spend so much time thinking, permuting, perceiving, reflecting, and analyzing, I can almost always predict the outcome of many situations. The downside is that it has made me slower.
I am no longer as vibrant as I once was, and I can not speak as quickly or confidently. I would rather think than talk, so I avoid situations that force me to speak unless it is necessary.
Unless it is a conversation with a few people I know in real life, a conversation at a mall or stall, or discussing business because the bills need to be paid. On the other hand, when I speak, I do so with substance; even if it is a small amount, it carries weight because of the thought process that must have occurred prior to the statement being made.
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Many people talk because they just want to impress but they end up leaving the opposite effect on people, sometimes our silence speaks louder than words.
Well yes, I understand why silence is touted to speak louder than words. Most silent people have a lot going on in their minds
Yes, true
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For you writing this content alone, you must be a deep thinker, not a talker because only a deep thinker write the way you write. I'm just like you too, I rarely talk, I prefer to just be by myself, not because I don't want to talk, but because I don't talk when it's not necessary.
That's a good trait. I also recently realized that no one will pull crazy moves on you when you they don't you what you are up to, obviously people can know what you are, from the things you say.
Yeah absolutely! People can easily know who you really are by just talking or having a little conversation with you.
Personally when it comes to speaking I reflect a lot especially when it has to do in conversation... cause I know how words make me feel I tend to be more careful about how what I will say Will make others feel, ....
Obviously, a lot of people don't think, they just talk and then damn the consequences. Being conscious of what others might feel is emotional intelligence
Yes sass that's so true .....thanks man
i can only say you wrote it down perfectly, i recognize myself as deep thinker, not talking lot but thinking a lot, and often indeed it's seen as a weakness, while in realty it's others who should start to think before talk
Exactly, when people are thinkers others might think it's a sign of weakness or foolishness. Obviously, we tend to respect those who boast, but it's the ones who don't talk too much that are far more impactful, when they finally choose to talk or speak.
I think the changes you have made are completely normal. When we're young we don't always think things through as deeply. I'm a very deep thinker now and only really talk when I have something important to say. The last few years have made that happen even more, just as the last few years of your life. The advantages is you can see outcomes better, but you can also see potential pitfalls in almost everything.
Less conversation isn't bad, it just means what you're conveying is of more substance!
Yeah, I wonder why people have to get older for them to realize that talking less actually have more advantages. For me, I feel that if I was more of a better thinker, I might not have made a lot of the mistakes I made in my early life, but here we are. I guess the lessons we learn do not just change one aspect of our lives, it can change even the way we think and talk
You've done a great job putting this together, people who talk too much don't hide feelings, they do things at times without second thought and many times the result of it is wrong. Normally is good to talk out your feelings cos it makes you feel better but at times know who you are and know who to expose your feelings too maybe right or wrong. On the other side it is partially good to be deep thinker cos it had for you to do wrong or make mistake that could cost you a lot. Whatever, the most important is try to understand yourself.
This is good, you've stated the advantages of talking more and talking less. This is good, to keep a middle ground is important, this is true, but for me, I just have become a more quiet person over the years
Silence is a powerful way to communicate, anyone who speaks faster ends up saying things he will later regret and it will be too late, is very important to work on listening more faster and speaking slowly.
I always enjoy reading your content, you are are deep thinker
I'm just someone who do not find joy in talking, except it's maybe writing or business transactions, that's all, and yes, silence is a powerful communication tool
Honestly I just prefer staying in my space only speak when there is need
I think it depends, but I agree that sometimes you don't need to talk that much. You just need to get your point across, and I think that its easy to make mistakes if you talk without thinking.
It's very easy to make mistakes when you talk too much: people can hold your words against you, they can understand and know what you're made of, when you give off too much information
Uhmm true talk....you know the more we grow something grow with in us as well even though it might be silent.....is not about how much you talk but is the content reasonable?
Yes, the more people grow older, I guess the more reflective, passive and sidelined they can become..
After brushing with the consequences of saying words that can never be taken back, I gradually became to think before I speak and sometimes I do overdo it to the point of not speaking at all. I also think silence is a form of communication that not many people understand. It is a skill to think a lot of thoughts, then decide which one to speak out and how to speak it out in a way that best represents the message one is trying to convey.