In the process of becoming
I have attended several weddings and the sermons on marriages are so similar that young couples believe they're familiar with the preacher's message and need no further information. Yet the rate of divorce and broken homes add up in numbers daily. Not because they weren't compatible but because they are ignorant of the process I call "In the process of becoming". A few preachers try to describe it but fail to paint a picture of it vividly to prepare young couples and people who are married for the phase that happens in every marriage.
God's ideal purpose for marriage was for a man and a woman to become one flesh. He said, "for a man shall leave his mother and father and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh". Which means, an Ideal marriage is one where the two(husband and wife) become one flesh. One flesh in speech, one flesh in management and decision making, one flesh in raising their children etc. until they attain this level, they're yet to meet God's ideal plan for couples.
Image generated using Gemini AI
The joining of the couples at the altar isn't the one flesh implied , rather the ordination of it. For couples to attain this level, there's a process called the "becoming" , it's at this stage where many couples fail. It's at this stage of becoming that the love one first felt for his partner fade away, it's at this stage that one starts to see the weakness of his or her spouse, it's at this stage you suddenly develop some resentment for your partner with no reason, it's at this stage everything you once admire about your beloved partner seem to drift into thin air. Only a few people cross this stage without a divorce, or taking an action that leaves a lasting regret.
The process of becoming is like a welder trying to join two metals together. The process involves intense heating, hammering, and cutting. Just like the metals in a welder's hand, the process of couples becoming one flesh involves intense heat, it's an unfavourable stage in marriage where nothing seems pleasant, but this process is meant to bring couples to that point of becoming one. Couples who go through this process and succeed without leaving scars often experience the best marriage ever, because they've gone through the heat of becoming and yet stuck close despite the inconvenience.
Couples aren't one yet until they go through this phase of becoming and never falter. Marriage isn't bed of roses until you've become one flesh and this oneness has a process of becoming that comes with uncertainty, fainting, pain, bitterness and resentment and when you're able to stand strong through the heat, then comes the oneness of flesh that nothing can subdue.