As men, we have been told to suck in our pain which is why when something happens to us we don’t always speak up. When we later speak up the only thing we hear people say is “Are you not a man?” This stops a lot of men from speaking up about their pain, the world doesn’t care about you as a man. After you tell people everything you are going through most people will respond “That is why you are a man” You have to face all these problems just to make you stronger, which is why most men die inside.
Most men die inside at the age of 40, they feel so lonely and alone from this age, and this even becomes harder for men who are unlucky with their family as their children don’t love them. This becomes a problem for them because some of these men don’t even have friends and they don’t have good bonding with their family or their children and with everything going on with their life, it’s even worse even more. This is the main reason why most men die early, apart from the fact that we tend to risk more than women, getting lonely at an early age kills men faster than any other thing in life.
Bonding
The major things that men don't do are the bonding parts with their family. Most men believe that when they can provide for their family they should be loved at home, their wife should understand them and every other thing like love and understanding should follow. Money and resources that you are providing don’t have a mouth and people don’t understand until there is nothing they can do to repair the relationship, especially for children. They don’t understand the sacrifice their father are making until they find themselves in their fathers’ shoes.
This is why it is very hard for men to bond with their family, especially men who don’t know that it takes a lot more to bond with their family. It takes more than just provision and responsibility to be bound. You have to be emotionally available for your children because this bonding will not only help you, it help you to have a good relationship with your children and your wife. This bonding will also help you as you grow older because it helps you from becoming lonely and it also helps you from dying inside at an early age which is a common thing among men.
Men don't talk
The craziest part about this is that most men don’t talk about their pain, how they wish to repair broken bonds, how they wish to have their family by their side when they are getting old, and how they wish they could do something different. Most men who are in this situation don’t speak up because society has normalized men being men. Society has normalized men to suck in their pain without saying anything about it. You have to remember that you can still repair broken bounds, never too late to start making amendments, and start picking up. And bond back with your children and your family.
Thanks for your time.
I think that it is an identity problem that dates back many years. I've been privileged enough to have lived through a couple decades to know that each time an attempt is made to change this identity, something always goes wrong and it makes you wonder why the universe wants to keep it that way.
Men have to identify with suffering and being comfortable receiving minimal or no love, attention and care, otherwise, that's no man. It's the identity that has been reserved and as several generations have already, the only thing that can be done is acceptance of this and effectively living through it in the best possible way.
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