Discipline

Recently I was on an online forum called Reddit browsing about the nuance of discipline and when it borders on domestic abuse and physical violence. I came across many stories and anecdotes narrating their experiences with abuse and corporal punishment.

In our country Nigeria, there’s a common saying that states “spare the rod, spoil the child”. Corporal punishment is highly regarded as a necessary learning experience, a behavioural correctional mechanism and a method of treatment for the greater good. Many parents, caregivers , teachers and many alike are convinced that you’ll ruin a child’s life if you don’t beat them. I’d like to argue that the truth value to this claim is largely skewed and there’s a particular nuance to this that no one sheds light on.

It is true that corporal punishment has done a lot of justice in the lives of many young people and teens. In our contemporary era, children have become increasingly impressionable and prone to being indifferent, wayward or downright disrespectful for many reasons. A lot of children misbehave. But unfortunately some are also inclined to be intolerably bad-behaved and unfortunately are way too stubborn to deal with passively. Youngsters that are delt with accordingly often find themselves thankful in the nearest future to their parents who acted as both displinarians and caregivers and these children often grow up to be people with great maturity, character and generally holistically successful and capable. However the same can not be said for everyone.

At times this form of punishment can quickly escalate to drastic levels of physical abuse and violence. Parents and teachers can take it way too far. And once the threshold of corporal punishment is passed, things get unforgivably messy. Surprisingly, For some this can still lead to them still growing up to be grounded and successful. But for the most part it paves way for a lifetime of mental health issues, emotional distress and habitual behaviours that are often negative and are largely unnoticed by others and even themselves as a result of abuse from their aggressors.

I believe to an extent the corporal punishment is needed to protect our children. But the issue is most adults here in Nigeria lack the emotional maturity and capacity to properly administer discipline in a fair and controlled manner. We must learn that yes, punishments serve as correction. But it can either shape the lives of our children for the best or the worst depending on how it’s implemented.