Buyer's Remorse

When we decided to move to the UK, I thought it was a great decision. I won't say I have regrets, even though recent events has made me doubt my decision.

We moved to the UK in August of 2023 and as we approach our second year in this foreign land, I can't help but do some introspection about how our life has been impacted. I cannot shake off this niggling feeling that I may have picked the wrong option.

I'm not one to dwell on past choices; I'm one of those people that forgets everything about a subject immediately after I write the exam. However, in recent times, I've been thinking about this immigration exam we're currently in and I think I may have picked the wrong answers.

One thing I will say is that when you write an exam, you will inevitably make mistakes. However, you only know this when scripts has been marked. Until your script is marked, all you have is speculation and that crippling anxiety that comes from self doubt.

Changes

From the moment we got into the UK, the immigration framework has been constantly changing. This, in turn has put a real dent in our long term plans to settle in the UK and with every iteration of change, our chances grow ever so slimmer.

Right now, the future seems bleak and I cannot see a route to permanent settlement in view. It kind of makes me feel like I made the wrong decision.

For what it's worth, there's really no way I could have known things would get this bad in the future. I figured that I'd be able to grind my way to any destination I set my mind on because that's just the kind of person I am.

There's still a little bit of time left to get where I want to be but with each passing moment, I can't help but feel like the clock is ticking down our time in the first world. Every tedious job application and rejection feels like one more dagger to the heart of our long term plans to settle here.

Copium

I cannot help but feel torn on the inside. I feel like I let myself down by making the decision to move to the UK. I'm dealing with a curious case of buyer's remorse and it is not going away anytime soon.

To bridge the gap, I've been doing a lot of research into alternatives and just the thought of relocating and starting all over again weakens my knee. However, in the worst case scenario, it might be our only option.

So, I've been exploring immigration options in other countries other than the UK. There are opportunities to work and study, or just straight up grind in different countries. Non-English speaking countries have the best opportunities but sadly, I only speak English. I may end up learning German at some point.

I really don't know where this journey will take us and I'd ideally prefer to just stop the journeyman life altogether by staying in the UK but with each passing day, I fear that it is beyond my control. Time will tell.