Outside Looks Fun 🏸 No Time For Being An Active Father, Cooking, & Homeschooling Anymore 🤦♂️
Even though I spend practically every minute awake either on Hive or behind handlebars, I still haven't come close to my goal of posting 7 days a week.
Will Things Change? 🤷♂️
For almost 4 years Hive has been my sole source of employment, with occasional brief stints of teaching Khmer online. Last night while fighting sleep and doing ASEAN Hive work, I pondered when the last time was that I actually enjoyed my Hive journey. It seems like at least two years since the last time I woke up and had the time to think of a Hive post idea and manifest it.
If I even dare work outside the computer for an hour such as creating these bamboo and rock steps I carved out of the slippery hillside, I find myself unable to make time for a post, cook, homeschool my daughters, etc. As the ASEAN Hive Community has grown, so has the time required to maintain it, and I had always hoped my wife and daughter would step up to the plate and learn how to be more independent in their Hive journeys.
My wife and oldest daughter's Hive learning journeys plateaued a few years ago after they learned how to basic markdown, posting, and commenting. Initially I had no problems taking care of all the behind-the-scenes stuff for them such as managing their Hive-Engine tokens, editing their posts, managing their crypto investments, passwords, and a many more random Hive-crypto related things.
A Thankless Job 👨💻
I always assumed they'd keep learning and eventually be able to take over their own Hive blogs and crypto portfolios, but after several years things have changed very little. I still spend an hour a day on my wife's RisingStar profile, thinking she' eventually take it over, but I don't even think she remembers what RisingStar is. Fast forward to present day, and my wife posts nearly 7 days a week, maintains a high level of engagement with other Hivers, but I am lucky if I can post three times a week and read a few posts to engage with.
All the hours spent every day doing ASEAN Hive stuff and managing my family's Hive/crypto journeys has left me with little time for a social life or hobbies, and when I do have time for a post, I feel so rushed that it's honestly not even enjoyable anymore, and for far too long I've felt the magic is gone from Hive for me. I miss the days of having time to think of a post idea and execute, but nowadays it's merely taking shots through the window or walking to the edge of the porch and snapping some shots of the fun others are having.
I feel even with my current limited Hive presence on my personal profile, that I still don't have enough time to be the active father I want to be, and do things like playing games with my daughters and homeschooling them, etc. On top of all of this, we just recently bought this land which has added more to my responsibilities than I want to accept. I find myself longing for the simple life of a rental room and having the time to go to bed before 3am like a normal human being.
Time Is The Master ⌛
With the understanding that ASEAN Hive is going to increasingly require more of my time, I bought a small moto so that my wife could take the kids to school and take some of my workload. Instead the moto has become something I ride, much too small, hurts my back, and now I spend 30 minutes to and hour each week maintaining and repairing it. Every decision I make seems to come back and bite me in the face, and the ultimate penalty is less and less time for sleep and freetime.
Sorry I'm ranting and this post has nothing to do with the pics, but I'm just not feeling it today. I love ASEAN Hive and have no intentions to take any attention away from it, but I would like to cook and eat more foods I enjoy, and keep the house a little cleaner, so I've been tinkering with the idea of shutting down my personal blog and becoming more of a house husband and repairman with time for sleep, focusing my Hive efforts on my wife and daughter's blog and the ASEAN Hive Community.
I like the feeling of being in control of my life, and it's so frustrating having a simple goal of posting 7 days a week and not being able to achieve it. Ideally I would like to find a way to continue blogging and being an engaged Hiver while still having time for sleep and being a father, but there are only so many hours in a day. It's obvious I need some changes in my life, but I've been reluctant to act because I'm a bit old-fashioned and still sort of believe a father's duty is to not let anyone know my workload and lack of sleep, giving my wife and daughters a worry-free life with time to enjoy doing things they love, while I die at my desk in my 40s of a heart attack due to lack of sleep and stress.
Sorry for this incoherent rant, but you all are my closest friends these days, so I might as well share my feelings, thoughts, and worries here where I have the most people that care about me.
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assalamualaikum... peace be upon you my beloved friend @justinparke, I always hope and pray for the best for you and your family, I hope you are all healthy always and always be a happy family and be a good example and role model for all of us your fans.
I as a father who has three children, live in remote villages, and work as a farmer who works hard to make his family happy, goes to work from morning and until night, can really feel what you feel and what you vent in I also experienced in your post.
but I remember the message from my father when he was still alive, if you later become a husband and a father, then be a husband who is responsible to his wife, be a husband whose departure and your return are always missed and awaited by your wife, be a father who not feared by your children but they respect you, be a good example for your wife and your children, that's how my father impressed me and it will always be in my mind and in my heart.
as long as I found ASEAN HIVE, and became your fan, I found the right fans like what my father wanted, I learned a lot from your story as a father, learned a lot from your family, so I think what you worry and worry about is normal.
Actually I have also experienced difficult times and even very difficult times, but I believe that behind difficulties there will be ease, behind misery there will be happiness and after darkness there will be light.
talk about HIVE, unfortunately there have been many adventurers into various communities, studied it and even tried to be part of their family, but what happened, it was very difficult to get warm, difficult to get attention especially for new members, even to get just a little support vote is difficult.
but I found something different in the ASEAN HIVE family, all members were treated the same in a very friendly manner, every member of the Community interacted and exchanged knowledge and cultural experiences from various countries, and that made me often have adventures here.
if you see my post on hive, you will shake your head, how can you not, sometimes in one month many can only get 3.4 or only 5 HBD or even sometimes in one month I only get 10 HIVE, it all sometimes makes me break up I'm hopeful and want to stop HIVE, but on the other hand, even if it's a little bit at least Hive has helped my family, and I'm sure whatever I get at HIVE is a provision from God, because basically the amount of sustenance is a gift from God and adecree from God.
In my opinion, a little but being grateful for will feel more delicious than a lot but being denied.
above all, I like your complaints and your outpouring of your heart, even though you don't really need to explain yourself to me too much, because I who admire you, don't need it all, the sincerity and love that you have given us so far will not be able to be reciprocated, only God will repay everything.
greetings from me to all your beloved family.
This comment is received well brother, thank you. I am honored to know you feel this way about the community, and I thank you for being understanding. Your father's words are good advice, I totally agree.
It is hard to believe I am still here even after the hardfork and many changes, but I found my calling within ASEAN Hive, and it's because of members like yourself. I remember back in Steemit, I would spend days working on a draft, and post to make only 10 cents. I think it took almost a year before I began getting acceptable post payouts, but I have seen many people make very good rewards from their first post.
Hive is a lot like the real world in many senses, only as perfect as the imperfect humans how run it. You are one of the most undervalued Hivers in my opinion, but I know your efforts will not go unnoticed, whether sooner or later. May the Almighty bless you and your family abundantly brother.
It happens occasionally that I see a great blogger suddenly vanish from Hive with no explanation whatsoever. Sometimes there is a last entry, citing personal reasons, and saying goodbye to all. Either way it's understandable, though I usually miss reading their posts. In your case, however, you've drawn me into your and your family's life so much, that even if you stopped blogging yourself, I would still feel I'd be communicating your indirectly, by responding to @SreyPov or the @KidSisters .
As far as time and effort goes, I've seen so many cases of someone trying to be a responsible father, a dedicated wife, a dutiful older brother, or a self-sacrificing grandmother, etc. though in the end giving everything and doing everything for their loved ones at the expense of oneself tended to end up badly for everyone involved.
So actually I was quite happy to see this post with all its details: from you ranting about burning out to SreyPov riding the moto. Having followed your family over the last years, I'm certain you will find a way to resolve things together, and share the burden of everything, particularly since Hive is more than a hobby, it's your livelihood. So now that Monkey B started posting solo (tell her, her fans are still eagerly awaiting her personal intro!), and SreyYuu has been doing such a great job on ASEAN, it may be time for you to fall back a bit and coordinate things from behind (and get a bit of sleep sometime).
Oh, and I'm not surprised that SreyPov doesn't get excited by RisingStar. In fact I am surprised at myself for still clicking away on such a silly "game".
Well no matter what, even if I have to step back away from my own blog to let the ladies pursue this new passion, I'll still keep the ASEAN Hive Community going, and a little bit of my personality is always in the @asean.hive curation posts.
Your advice is accurate, of course I agree, but sometimes we tend to avoid something that is staring us in the face. I always liked the airplane emergency safety instruction talk as a metaphor for life, you have to put on your own oxygen mask before you can help anybody else with theirs.
I'll keep working on RisingStar, hopefully she'll take it over, but it will take a lot of persuasion. It is exciting to see Monkey-B get interested in posting. For now I don't want it to seem like work to her, so whenever she wants to post is fine, but I'll aim to at least get a post from her every couple weeks at least. Life is one hell of a rollercoaster at times, and I think there are some weird things in man DNA that make some of us stoic to a fault.
For now I can't imagine abandoning Hive in any kind of scenario. If I did so, I'd have to get the emails and/or contact info of so many of my fellow Hivers. I have known many of you for years on this platform, and at this point in my life I am most honest in Hive about my opinions, thoughts, feelings., etc. People in my offline life here don't ever say things as uplifting, real, and direct as the words in your comment my friend.
I completely agree on the airplane safety guide: first take care of yourself, or else you won't be able to take care of others. That's why I understand that I may see fewer posts by you, and (hopefully) more by the rest of your family. Clearly, this also means that instead of working as a blogger you'll shift to being a cheerleader for bloggers, getting them to do it because they are enjoying it before the activity reveals itself as work. But hey, in many other families kids are made to do much less enjoyable and more taxing work, with close to no educational value. So it's a win-win-win!
WOW, THANK YOU! Your last paragraph felt so nice to read! Not only because it made me feel flattered (just the way I feel, even if it wasn't intended as such), but because I can completely relate to it. Forget other social media, and even in real life I hardly find the same mix of honesty in expression, diversity in thinking, a wide range of knowledge, and a general overall positivity. Also, it feels super nice hearing the same from someone else about me (=us)! I appreciate it.
!PIZZA
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Your outpouring for now makes me touched,, after I read all the contents you wrote, I shed tears,, why did I shed tears????? because I listen to the contents of your writing with a soft heart and read it in a soft voice,, I can understand what you feel, and what you are fighting for at this time I repeat we all understand very well...
being a father.... sounds beautiful.... but to carry out the duties of a father is the most difficult, especially the burden you are carrying now is very heavy, I can feel it if your responsibilities are very many... it is not easy to be a father. community leader, but I give you a thumbs up, in the midst of your busy life you had fun joking with us in the community, like you are the leader we aspire to be.. and stay humble...
we all know how busy you are, I think the time distribution for the community and the time for children that you share is perfect, why do I say that... because for us the community participants you had time to say hello, as well as your children also had time to play or learn other things with them.. your complaints we are all ready to bear the burden if you always share stories... how not.. because we are part of your family... even more than brotherhood.. ..
if we always share and tell stories, there must be a solution or the best way out.. no matter how busy our work is, health is the priority... because health is not traded in drug stores, that's right...... hehehe... .
remember our message take care of your health and always focus on a job.. greetings from @alvonsohiver one of your big fans @justinparke
Wow, this a truly inspiring and heartfelt comment brother. ASEAN Hive really is a special place because of members like you, and the combined support from all of you still boggles my mind sometimes. I am not a rich man, and actually we struggle quite a bit, but I am able to earn a living by helping others earn much-needed income through sharing these stories on Hive.
What might be considered small HIVE earnings in Europe or North America, Japan, are actually a vital part of our lives here in many Southeast Asian countries. You all keep me constantly inspired, and I understand the very important role this blockchain plays in our lives.
I take your words to heart brother, your comments about fatherhood are very accurate, and I think I am old-fashioned in many ways, feeling us men/fathers are supposed to be very stoic and invincible, like a superhero, but this not sustainable, we are only human.
You do not need to apologize for the outpouring of your heart to us my friend, personally I really understand what is being a burden in your mind right now. You are a husband and father who is very responsible for the family, I really admire you @justinparke.
Ideally, a Hiver uploads posts 7 days a week, and the majority of the big Hivers on this Hive I see they also upload posts 7 days a week. However, they are generally not like you justin who co-manages a community at Hive. Those who are actively uploading posts 7 days a week generally only manage their own accounts, so they can be very active in engaging with fellow Hivers on Hive. And even if they manage a community, then they have a large team of up to 10 people in managing the community. However, the personal account that manages the community is also often inactive. This means that he might upload today's post, but not tomorrow.
But today, you have done the best for all of us. you have been wise to all hivers in the ASEAN community, you always curate all posts fairly, even including your curated comments.
Indeed, if all the time in the day we spend only on Hive, then we can no longer mingle with the people around us. This means that our social life is neglected. Keep it up my friend 👍💪
Thank you my friend, your words are truly an inspiration and very uplifting. The reason I keep putting my main effort into ASEAN Hive is because of people like you who believe in me and the potential of this community on Hive.
A few days ago I showed my wife how I curate and all the behind-the-scenes stuff that goes on to keep this community engaging and thriving. My oldest daughter watched too, and now they understand there is much more to it than just voting making curation posts. I mentioned to them as well about how many people it usually takes to run and manage a community on Hive, and to do it as one-man mission is a big job.
I wish I had more time to engage with every post in the community like in the early days, but ASEAN Hive has grown, so this increasingly more difficult with time. It is true what you say about the social life, but here most guys get drunk at night and act foolish, so I don't have much interest in the villagers. Our nextdoor neighbors are very nice people though, hard-working and honest, so we have become very close to them.
In the next week, one of them will be joining Hive as soon as she can get a phone. She's the strongest English speaker, so I guess she'll be the natural Hive tester for their household. Tourism has suffered because of COVID, so they are looking for alternative income streams.
Your comments often leave me speechless bro, you are one of the most engaged people I know on Hive, and I really hope in due time that your blog gets the recognition it deserves. Your efforts do not go unnoticed with me 🙏🙏🙏.
I thought Srey-Pov would be thrilled to learn to ride the moto, and have more independence as well as helping-out with transportation. Is she not interested, or is the learning just progressing slowly?
Sorry to hear so much is weighing on you. But you are always welcome to rant here. Heck, it's your own blog, of course 😁, but a little griping & ranting won't stop me from being a reader. I really enjoy your blogs, and I get a much clearer picture of your family, your life & situation, and learning about the mysteries of Cambodia when you write. I enjoy Srey-Pov's and KidSisters' blogs, too, but I learn much more from your blog and almost feel like I am really there with the photos & write-ups you share! 🙂 If they need to stop for the sake of your health and sanity, though, I certainly understand! 💜
I think part of it is that she is scared, totally understandable, but she did used to have a 50cc auto moped before we left the country, and she took the kids to school and ran errands on in. This bike is a little faster, but only 90cc, and you have to shift the gears, but there is no clutch. I think this is intimidating, but most of all learning how to ride means taking on more responsibilities and having less free-time.
I just need to 3 to 4 hours a day removed from my plate of responsibilities, and I would be able to get a healthy amount of sleep and have some downtime for myself. Funny how my character on Hive has changed through the years, in the beginning trying to write to please readers and curators, that was unsustainable because that wasn't the real me. It slowly morphed into me sharing my twisted sense of humor, and fast-forward to now, I am more honest and direct with my Hive friends than any other folks outside my family.
My wife gets much joy from Hive, and of course I do to, but I feel I am more flexible with the work I do each day, basically just doing the jobs nobody else chooses to do. I would love to post daily from my blog, but I also feel the need to homeschool the kids and make special foods, make dad-daughter memories, etc. It's always a tough balancing act for me, but for Cambodians this isn't a problem, cooking Khmer dishes only takes a few minutes, and the Khmer parenting attitude is generally just to keep the children fed and let the figure life out for themselves.
It seems I need to make some kind of daily schedule to budget my time, but I am not that kind of personality, so even thinking about it is frustrating. Lots of love my family and I to you my friend.
Well, if you can't rant amongst friends then when can you rant. I appreciate all the support you have given me since I started hiving several months ago and I'm sure everyone else has had the same level of support from you too. I love to read your posts/rambles/rants but if taking a step back is want you need then please do so. Health, happiness and life balance are far more important than posting 7 days a week. If you have to withdraw completely then so be it. Your encouragement and support of others can now be returned to you, hopefully tenfold. Take the time to be the husband and father you strive to be. You Superhero, you.
Awww, see, this is the reason I could never walk away, there are just too many people that make ASEAN Hive the least dysfunctional community I am part of, blockchain or not. Glad to see you've made it to Indonesia already, sounds like you had one heck of a welcome.
I hear that,rant is alright. The community has given you more loads of responsibility as it grows and thank you for keeping it running still for years. Hope you can have your much needed sleep and rest and foods that you like to cook.
You can have a break, as well as you can always come back.
Thank you for understanding and being supportive. You all never cease to amaze me, and it's comments like this that remind me why I keep moving forward with ASEAN Hive.
Totally understandable dude. You do put a lot into this community and it wouldn't run without you. I think everyone here would be just fine if you took a step back for a while. You gotta live your "real life" first.
Those words are comforting my man, not being sarcastic like I normally would be. I am working with Srey-Yuu to become my Hive-ssistant, and the first step is for her to take over curation responsibilities on her @asean.hive posting day(s). I've been burning the candle at both ends for far too long, but we men are good at hiding things like this, guess it's that old-fashioned stoic attitude towards life. I'll always keep ASEAN Hive moving forward because you all believe in me, but definitely gotta improve my time management skills.
Since the Hive price drop, I start to sell my products again. And I think, I will continue selling my products if Hive price is back. The worst thing, I sell all Hive-engine tokens in the dip because I have no other sources of income. By selling products in all situation I will have additional income from offline business thought it is not big.
I am looking to diversify my income at the moment too, the whole crypto world is in the dumps, and so are my tiny investments. I am trying to find foreigners that live in Cambodia who want to do online Khmer lessons. I enjoy it and I often make $8 to $10 an hour, usually three to five days a week, so even just getting one student again would change our lives dramatically.
What products are you selling by the way? I am not sure I am familiar with this side business of yours.
I am selling mambo ice from mung bean and black gloutinous rice. It is good in hot season here however, the volume of sales still small. It is not easy to get a bulk of order so I sell on the side of street.
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Just reading this makes me tired. Don't burn yourself out, Justin. You deserve a break or at least more rest, I hope you manage to cut down on some things very soon.
Sending you a hug!
A good swim and a full day of rest would work wonders at the moment. I definitely need to make some changes, just got to figure out how to do it as frictionless as possible. Give thanks my man.
May be it's time to make this a public curation effort? Somehow we need to partly automate a certain of the function. Like vote? Auto comment followed by votes?
For now I can handle manual curation, and besides there are so many post dumpers and questionably real profiles that I have to mute almost daily to keep the place feeling like a community instead of a post garbage dump like many other communities have become. I am currently discussing ways for the family to help me out, the easiest thing would be my wife learning how to ride her motorbike and take the kids to school because this would save me 4 hours each day.
Man, every day Time is the ultimate economic decision maker for us, isn't it? Every decision boils down to 'what is the best use of my time.' And sometimes neither of the decisions to be made are good ones; those are the really sucky decisions that life throws at us.
I'm sure it'll all work out though. The girls are growing into fantastic human beings due in no small part to your time, not to mention the improvements to the house and land. There will be a time in the not too distant future where you'll be able to look back at it all and quietly nod with a satisfied "Yeah."
....and also with "time" itself, most things pass, and I guess time also passes with the passage of time 🤔😃.
I like your outlook on this situation, very positive and forward thinking, gonna take it and run and give none of the credit, haha. Seriously though, I understand what you're saying, and I often having idealistic daydreams of said scenario, hope to see it come to fruition.
I read and re-read the whole post, I feel that somewhere in your heart there is a little pain, you tried to express those feelings. Ok, yes I understand that sometimes it happens with us, what we plan or dream never turns out well. But I can only hope that they have read this post and will try to ease your worries a little. I know the Asian Hive has grown up and is, you have to spend a lot of time here. I wish you all the best.
Thank you for your kind words, I see sometimes in your posts that the images you share and the story you tell are sometimes very different, and I am sometimes this way too. You all are my community, and being a bit isolated, sometimes I reach out to my ASEAN Hivers, and you all are the most positive and supportive gang of folks I know, online and offline.
Thank you for your kind words sister, sometimes it's therapeutic just to share how we're feeling instead of what we're doing. I know your worklife has been a bit hectic lately, but I hope things are calming down for you. 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you very much, I am really inspired by your wonderful response. I'm actually a bit busy at the moment, but all my love will always be with this community, I can assure you. I have become the curator of DiyHub, I will try to give all the support to the users of this community. Wish you a good day.
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I am sorry about that, I can’t help you in Hive and more. I will try to lean everything what I can help you.
You just have to study a little every day and challenge yourself to learn new things. I had almost zero computer skills before I came to Cambodia in 2010, and I didn't even know English grammar. Now I am bi-lingual and a Khmer/English language teacher that has developed curriculum and produced and printed my own course books.
You are smarter than you realize, when you wanted to learn how to make Hive posts, you figured it out in only two weeks.
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