What I’m Avoiding Is Exactly What I Need

When I started listening to podcasts, one of the first I listened to said something that has stayed with me since then. He was giving the road map to changing one's life and one particular step he gave at the beginning of the list was "Make a fear list, not a to-do list". I was quite unsettled with it.

It didn't end there, I went on with my life to keep writing on my journals, planning my days and writing lots of daily "to-dos" which have been going quite well for me, I am checking off everything I say I will do most of the days. I feel more confident about myself but I'm still scared.

While I was thinking of what to share today, I came across a prompt question that hit me way harder than it may have been supposed to hit anyone. It was directed at the exact thing I don't want to think, "What am I avoiding that I know could actually help me grow?", that's the prompt.

For someone who is aware that she has lots of fear and went ahead to make lots of to-do lists, I bet it's obvious what I am avoiding that will change a whole lot about my life. I am avoiding to face my fears, I keep doing things that are comfortable, well within my reach but all in fear.

I am challenging myself to face my fears by at least, writing them out. I may not even be aware of all my fears but starting with the obvious ones is a step towards being uncomfortable for the growth I desire to have. I want to be better every day and that means, fighting my fears every day.

One of the things this avoidance have been costing me is having clarity on the things I really want. I believe we make our fears decide what we want, like choosing things in fear and avoiding what it is we really want. I want to make that stop, by creating a "fear list" even in my fears.