THE ALCHEMY OF LOVING THE ONE WHO STAYED

Life is really uncertain. These days, so many things happening around me seem to be drawing my mind to that fact. It’s been a while since I cried, but I did yesterday and it felt really good. I cried for different reasons, but majorly, I cried because I just thought about a part of my life that is on standstill, and even now, I’m still not sure what to do about that.

It’s been a while since I made a post anywhere, and I’m glad I’m doing this here today. I had actually planned to make a post today, but I wasn’t feeling too well, so I wasn’t sure if I would make the post — but I am now. I’m not writing about anything special today, but something I talked to someone about recently. It’s about love, and these days, my perspective on how I should love is changing for the better. I have always believed in love, and I don’t think I will stop. I pray I don’t. I have only defined love — or thought about what love is — wrongly, and lately, I have been learning, relearning, and unlearning.

I read a book recently by Don Miguel on the Mastery of Love. This book changed so many of my perspectives on what love is and what love is not. I knew these things before, but I wasn’t sure of the better application. Now that book has opened my eyes more clearly and my brain to understand better. In his book, Miguel was able to connect the ideas from different religions and what their idea of love is, and come to the conclusion that they were consistent about what love is and how we should love better. One of the things he kept emphasizing was the need to love self first and also find oneself before even trying to love others.

This is one thing I have recently come to terms with. I do love myself, but not as much as I should, and that’s one thing I really have to work on if I want to have more beautiful relationships with people. Indeed, love covers a multitude of sins. We lack love for ourselves, and that’s why it’s usually hard to show love to others. That’s also why it’s hard to forgive others. We have limits to how much we can forgive people. We have a measure we use to know how and when we should forgive. Once someone offends us a certain way, they are knocked out.

When I was in secondary school, I remember I had this classmate who always had a way of getting on my nerves. He was annoying according to me then. He usually brought out the worst part of me, and because of that, I would hate myself after trying to dance to his tune. I was more focused on how he made me feel than that I lost myself to the moment and did things that I would regret later. It took me years to realize that there was a different lesson that experience was trying to teach me. The problem wasn’t just that classmate; it was more about me, but I was too busy blaming him for my problem that I just didn’t see my own need for fixing.

Even today, I still find myself trying to blame others more than myself whenever things go wrong, but I see the difference when I’m quick to realize that I might actually be the one who needs to make adjustments. That is helping me grow and be better — being able to see my own mistakes before seeing those of others. Reading that book was a very good idea, and I’m happy I did. Now I know most of my problems and how to start fixing them one at a time.

It’s a new week, and I pray you have a lovely and blessed week!