LEARNING TO SAY “YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT”
As long as we live, learning is unending. Yes, we might have learnt so much about something or someone but the moment we start thinking that what we know is enough, we start becoming more ignorant than before. Sadly, the more I learn about things, the more tempted I become to think I have enough knowledge of that thing or even a person but I only end up learning that learning is something that never ends until we are 6ft to the ground. It’s a hard nut to crack because we think we are learning but when we are tested or examined, we fail woefully.
A friend once told me that I needed to stop judging people because I can’t really tell what they are going through as long as I’m not in their shoes. At first, I tried to act all defensive and prove my point I felt they weren’t seeing which was fine but then, I realized that they were right. No matter what anyone has done or is doing that doesn’t sit well or right with us, most times, the truth is that we will do worse if we were in their shoes. Probably, that’s why we aren’t the ones experiencing such things. Yes, we think we are good at certain aspects of our lives. I don’t do this, I can never do that and then we judge others that are doing those things but guess what, we all have our strengths and weaknesses.
One thing that has taken me so long to realize is that, in as much as I feel judged by an advice or a comment made by someone, I should be really grateful that they are the ones judging me. Why? Not because it was easy to take those blows in form of words, but because I have people who notice my flaws and despite how much they don’t want to hurt me, they still confront me with my fears. At that point when they do that, I tell myself, nah, this person doesn’t care about me, they are just judging me and are not being empathetic of how I would feel about these words.
I tell myself so many things that start making me act defensive and trying to make myself feel good again but guess what? It won’t end with just them if that is something I really need to work on. One mistake I make most times is telling myself that “I’ll be fine all by myself”. “People are hard to live with”. “They give us problems, they take our peace away and they judge us by everything we do”. It’s sad and heartbreaking most times and we can’t deny that. But then, what we want to do is accepting the truth in everything they have said no matter how hurtful it might have felt.
Why? Because we might not get another chance to hear that truth. Or it will hurt even more the next time, from the next person. Also, in the end, what they truly want from us is to be better but of course as humans, words sometimes come out wrong because we let our emotions get the best of us. Well, this is not easy. I’m still in my own process of accepting the truth that others have spilled during their emotional moments and it always hits differently even when I know that it doesn’t always come to us to hurt us.
When someone says something about us that isn’t true, the first thing we want to do is defend ourselves and prove to them how wrong they are. We think it is foolishness to stay silent and just listen but I don’t think so. For me, it is courage to listen to the things that hurt you but you are still clearheaded enough to pick out the truth from their hurtful words and sometimes actions. As for the parts when you know you were misinterpreted, wait until another time to speak and they should listen. Most times, they will apologize for saying the wrong words but also be prepared that they might not apologize but learn to forgive them anyways because you are the bigger person.
Thank you for reading through. 💜
Image used is mine