The Power of Community in Times of Grief: A Lesson from A Man Called Otto || LOH #286
I’ve always been a fan of different genres of movies, from romance to horror to sci-fi and action, so it’s safe to conclude that as long as a movie has a great plot with characters who brilliantly live out their stories, then I am in for the ride. However, amid all these genres, I am more drawn to the ones that have SOUL in them, the kind that keep you in touch with your emotions while offering you good laughs and something deeper to learn and apply in your own life.
One of such movies is A Man Called Otto. I first saw this movie in 2024, and since then, I have seen it at least three times, with this morning making it the fourth. Thankfully, I was able to achieve what I wanted with circling back to it. I laughed, cried, and got reminded of the beautiful lesson in it that applies to my current situation in life.
To give a short intro, "A Man Called Otto" is a film that blends comedy and drama, with actors who delivered excellent performances in their roles. The main character, Otto, is presented as a grumpy old man who is disciplined about every single thing, loves to follow his routines, and takes offense when people don’t do things the right way, even down to the petty ones. He's that unsettled, stern man over the next block who gets impatient with everything and everyone, doesn’t give people a chance to get close to him, and hates being disturbed. You can call him unfriendly, as a favorite word in his vocabulary is “idiot.”
But the most significant part of his role in the movie is the fact that he is a loving and passionate widower who let his grief consume the few bright sides of his life that were left after his wife passed. He believed that his peace could only return when he went to join her, so he attempted suicide a couple of times but they all failed.
Things changed when his new neighbor, Marisol, set out to become friends with him by every means possible, causing him to finally open up about the hurtful details of his wife’s passing. Through Marisol and her family, he was able to see the beauty of life again, the purpose of living, and the need to share the many wonderful parts of himself that had long been hidden from the public, including being a constant helping hand to others.
This movie made me realize how much grief changes a person, and I see how I’m still a perfect example of this. Grief has hardened and softened my heart on different occasions. It has also shaped how I respond to every situation. For most people like me, it starts slowly by creeping into your daily routines, causing you to lose interest in the small things that used to make your heart flutter. It begins to steal the light from your eyes in such a way that you become indifferent when good things happen to you or others.
With grief, you lose your childlike curiosity, begin to think that your existence is of no use to the world, and even become desensitized about the feelings of others because you start thinking only about yourself. You also lose touch with what’s going on in the lives of those who love you. Your strength, your faith, everything begins to crumble before your eyes.
However, the core lesson I’ve learned from this movie is that despite our grief, we can learn to live again. But that can only happen if we open ourselves up to those lovely people around us who care about our situation. If we embrace hospitable and genuine people without pushing them away, the grief becomes less and life becomes a little more easier. I’ve learned that we cannot do life alone. We need a community that stands with us through our moments of joy and pain, encourages and spends time with us. Community here refers to our friends, our families, that neighbor who checks in on us every day even when we call them intrusive, and that distant acquaintance who never fails to call us at different times of the month.
Most importantly, even in grief, we can learn to communicate with others and consider their efforts and feelings instead of shutting them out completely. This doesn’t stop us from keeping the memories of the ones we've the lost. It simply means that we can hold onto what they left behind while still trying to make our lives beautiful again.
And to those who haven't experienced the loss of a loved one yet, the lesson here is to note that everyone you come across has a story. Just because they refuse your help or act like they’re okay doesn’t mean they are. A lot of people are carrying burdens you can't see, and that’s the reason you ought to be kind and be a safe space for others to express themselves. Who knows? Your compassion might restore meaning to someone’s life, just like Marisol’s did for Otto in this movie.
Favorite learning quote from the movie:
“You think your life is so hard because everybody is an idiot and you have to do everything on your own, right? Guess what? You can’t. No one can. And you should be happy someone was trying to help you get through a crappy day.” - Marisol.
All images used in this post are direct screenshots from the movie.
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