LOH #250: From Self-Doubt to Self-Worth: How I Began Loving Myself!

Hello Ladies of Hive!

It's a great pleasure to share with you my idea and perspective on one of the questions posed by @cautiva-30.

2️⃣ If we realize that we should love ourselves more, yet no one teaches us how to do so, how can we begin to love ourselves? What can we do to feel better about ourselves?

Some people are reared in an environment that appreciates, nurtures, and confirms them. Others, including myself, discover later in life that, although we are aware of the concept of self-love, no one taught us how to put it into practice. At first, this realization may appear overwhelming: how can someone learn to love themselves if no one has taught them? However, we can still get started without any guidance.

For me, awareness was the first step. I had to confess that I wasn't being as friendly and polite to myself as I should have been. I became aware of how critical my inner voice was, how I would downplay my accomplishments, and how I regularly prioritized the needs of others over my own, leaving me fatigued. It was my wake-up call, and while it was terrible, the realization was necessary.

The next step involved redefining my relationship with myself. My simple question, "If I were my own best friend, how would I treat myself?" made a significant impact. I began to give myself understanding rather than condemnation, and compassion rather than contempt. I started talking to myself more gently, as if I was helping a close friend who was growing.

I also realized that loving oneself requires more than just thoughts; it also requires action. I began establishing boundaries, even if it created discomfort for others. When something made me joyful, I let myself say "yes" without reservation and "no" without feeling bad. I set aside time for activities that nourish my soul, such as writing, reading, and drinking a decent cup of coffee, because I deserve to be joyful and quiet on occasion.

Taking care of my body has been an essential part of loving myself. I started taking better care of myself, eating healthier, and getting enough sleep when I needed it. I considered my body as a home that would support me throughout my life, rather than something to be ridiculed.

There was also the matter of self-acceptance. I need to recognize that I am still a work in progress, and that is fine. I started to enjoy small triumphs and stopped comparing my journey to others. I learned to value my unique qualities, such as my generosity, persistence, and ability to overcome adversity.

Ultimately, I came to realize that being thankful fosters self-love. As I write in my thankfulness journal, I acknowledge my inner strength, endurance, and bravery, as well as the benefits I enjoy. It serves as a reminder that even on my quietest days, I am enough.

I may not have learnt to love myself from anyone, but I am working on it. Every day, I make a conscious decision to be kinder, gentler, and more tolerant of myself. Self-love is defined as compassion rather than perfection. As I continue down this path, I realize that the more I love myself, the more I have to offer to others—not from a position of emptiness, but from a place of wholeness. It's about looking in the mirror and saying, "I am worthy, just as I am."