[LOH-309] It Just Happened: Finding My Happy Color

I remember when I was a kid, I really have a colorful clothes. Of course its my late Mommy M who chose my clothes and maybe she enjoys it when I wear a bright colored dress, skirts, and blouse. At 5, I don't really care much about the color. When I turn 10, I don't remember liking a particular color for my clothes. I wore whatever are available in my closet.

At 15, that's when I started wearing shirts and below the knee shorts, the color? Mostly darker. I like dark earrings and bracelet. Black earrings are so just my type. Also, i'm kinda obsess too with a clothes with dark cool print but I can't have those kind of clothes, sadly. That's the time that I wish my Mommy M is still with us and alive. Life would be better for sure if ever.

Mama said that Mommy M really spoiled me a lot and that she will get whatever is good for me it what I ask. Thinking about it now, what if she's still alive? Surely, I won't feel any jealousy to my college friend H, coz her clothes are all from Avon and Natasha and all of them are just pretty, kinda like denim jeans too yk. But Mommy F never ask me what I like.

I remember, Me and our other friend, D suggested that this particular style of denim pants will look good at H. Glad she listened to us, and it really looks great at her, but thats also when I feel so poor and my jealously just grow even bigger, I hated my self so much back then. I can't even have what I want then and all I can do is watch others get what I want.

Anyways, At 20, I started liking maroon, gray and blue. When my Ate Riza would asked me about the color of shirt that I want, I would immediately reply, maroon or blue. And I stick to a t-shirt since then. Blouse just made me uncomfortable. Ahhh, I remember disliking Pink too, that's my hated color. Kids my age love that color and I don't understand why, but i refuse to like Pink, lol.

I don't like Pink in my closet, same with yellow or orange. But then some of undies are pink, there's red, and even orange hahaha. I can't really refuse those color for the underwear coz its Mommy F who bought them for me. Lol. But I don't dislike them now, I swear ƪ⁠(⁠‾⁠.⁠‾⁠“⁠)⁠┐. I started buying Pink shirt but to be honest I only have 3 of that color haha.

I'm in my 30s now and I only like black color for my shirt, not the pretty or fashionable blouse but t-shirt. I still love blue, gray, and maroon, but, black just resonate to me. I feel like it is my color, it represent me and what I currently feel. And so now most of my t-shirts are black. I love it when I hung all of my black shirt using a hanger and can see all of them, lol

I'm still not sure what really push me to like black. It just happened, and its dark so not really different to what I like even when i'm 15. With black, I feel, invisible. Like, it is also like a protection for me. Also, I just realise one day that I like black more than any color. And seriously, black just made me happy. Surely, all of us here have that happy color \⁠(⁠๑⁠╹⁠◡⁠╹⁠๑⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠♬

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So this is my entry for this week topic, I chose this one: "We recently wrote about our favorite colors and how they make us feel. But, how has your favorite color changed over time? What prompted that change?"