IT IS WHAT IT IS. LOH. #307

Hmm.... where do I start. I think it is the ability to speak up about my inconveniences. And no, not the one that life throws. I am talking about the one that others cause me. For some reason, I still feel very wrong to speak up when someone is doing something that doesn't sit right with me. I'm still too concerned about offending people. In as much as I wish it were not so, it unfortunately is. The times where I was able to speak up, I was really angry, and of course, things where said. And the funny thing is that I kind of overreacted.

It's was a few years ago when someone came to leave with us. He seemed okay at first. Everyone was trying to be welcoming and all. He too was trying to blend in. But as time went by, it appeared that he expected that treatment he was receiving when he first came to last forever. He was expecting everything to be done for him. He only wanted to just wake up, have his bath, eat, and be on his phone. When I started noticing it, I couldn't complain because I didn't want to seem like a bad person. I didn't want to "offend him". Therefore it continued, and I kept swallowing it. To make matters worse, he didn't bath well, and he smelled. He also wasn't very respectful.

We kept living that way, until one day when he decided to try and start doing somethings around the house. He really didn't know how to do much, but I did appreciate his effort. Yet again, he went back to being nonchalant about chores in the house. Thank God I am not mentioning any names here, therefore I can say that he was something of a thief. We could no longer confidently keep things around the house like we usually did, without fear of it being picked and an unknown person. All these things where still being swallowed by me.

Then one fateful day, I had bought a snack that I wanted to eat before the main meal was ready. But because of what I had to do, I out the snack in my back and went to do what I had to. After a few hours when I was done, I started looking for the snack. And by then I was even hungrier. Yes the meal was ready, but I really wanted to eat what I was anticipating for hours. Then I started asking everyone about the snack, and they gave me the same response "I don't know", or "I didn't see it". Then everyone's mind went to the guy. And without properly assessing the situation, I started accusing him, and my sister supported me. Then he said something about my sister, that was when the timidity in me died momentarily. I got really mad and called him a "bastard". Everyone was shocked that I could actually react like that and use that word.

After all the commotion, I went to my back and found the snack. I had forgotten that I had put it there. And as you can imagine I couldn't tell anyone about it. I just ate it in secret.

So yeah, a proper adult should be able to speak up when they are being inconvenienced, without feeling guilty.

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peace out ✌️

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