LOH Community Contest #288 ~ The Lie We Tell Ourselves

What popular worldview, quote, or social belief do you think has negatively influenced our society today? How do you protect younger people around you from adopting that mindset, and how do you personally resist the pressure to conform to it?

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If there is one thing I wish I hadn't listened to when society told me after the demise of my father was "Your mother and your siblings are your responsibility", this phrase changed my thought pattern and made me feel like I owed my family everything and they didn't owe me anything.

I toiled day and night, took up such a hectic responsibility at such a tender age, not for myself but for my younger siblings and my mum, my life choices and decisions were centered and revolved around them and what they wanted, I had to grow and become a bigger person, I didn't enjoy my teenage years, didn't get the opportunity to experience puberty, and be a little girl like every girl my age, I do not have a memory of those phase of life look like because I skipped or didn't experience it.

I thought of what everyone wanted, not what I wanted, I sacrificed just too much for others but not for myself, gave grace to everyone but not myself, pitied everyone but not myself, was the shoulder they leaned on but didn't have a shoulder to lean on when I was weak, couldn't cry or let anyone see me cry because "I had to be strong for them".

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That statement took my childhood and teenage years from me, and in fact a part of my adult years, it made me feel my life was meant to be lived making my family comfortable, happy, and stress-free.

I conformed to society's belief and was only able to free myself from the pressure and belief I carried myself after I heard a shocking similar story, I was also able to break myself from such influence after I realized that I was beginning to dislike my family for the pressure I was under, i was able to let go of such mentality after I realized how much hurt and hate I was harbouring towards my family because I was beginning to see my age mates in better places while it felt and looked like my life was stagnant and no evidence of growth.

I have seen younger girls go through the same thing and when I have an opportunity to sit with them, I let them understand the reality from someone who has experienced such life. The society's belief that as a first child, it is your responsibility to take care of your family is a total lie they sell it, while it is not wrong, I believe that it should be at the age the child has found herself and found her footing.

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This is my entry to Ladies of Hive Community Contest #288

All images are mine

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