Ladies of Hive Community Contest #156 Edition | Keeping Fears And Shattered Spirit At Bay As God Is My Only Hope In My Journey Called Life

Good day, Ladies of Hive, and thank you for being a part of this lovely community!

Real dangers as well as flashbacks to threats, might frighten us. People struggle to overcome their fears. When we become conscious that we are frightened we must assess if the threat is real or whether we have begun to broaden our fear and seek details to validate it rather than challenge it. To remain balanced and with an adequate viewpoint, we must always be willing to ask ourselves these difficult issues and focus on our sentiments.

This is my test, and this is my monster to defeat, for it will appear unexpectedly and hideously until I do. The only way out is to compel me to work and seek outcomes rather than this spinning feeling of anxiety that is steering me nuts. So, even if my supporting structures are frail and my limbs are futile, I can nevertheless stay motionless and discreet for sufficient time to figure out how to combat.

Being a single mother is difficult, especially if your child has SPECIAL NEEDS (Epileptic-Quadriplegic Cerebral Palsy). He cannot speak, walk, or simply sit on his own, yet he can comprehend and communicate via the use of sign language. To put it simply, he is bedridden. Last month, he turned 24. Because of his disabilities, I had to give up my promising job to spend time caring for him myself.

My youngest son was delivered prematurely at the age of seven months as a result of stress. When he had sepsis, he was incubated and his life was in danger (blood infection). During his treatment, blood was seen spewed up from his tiny mouth. His skin turned to ash, and he lost his colour. I looked away, sat on the floor, and sobbed silently to God, imploring Him that if my son wasn't meant for me, "I AM LETTING HIM GO." I overheard my son whimper shortly after I finished offering my prayers to God. The doctor patted my back and said, "He is a blessing from God to you; he is a warrior who conquered adversity!" When I glanced around, my baby's face had turned crimson from whimpering. I sobbed and kissed him as I lifted him; he was so tiny that he only weighed 1.5 pounds, about the same size as a 1.5-liter Coca-Cola; I bring him to his neurologist/physician whenever he has scheduled for checkups.

At 4 months old he was diagnosed with cerebral palsy and when he reached 11 years old he was again diagnosed with epilepsy that broke my spirit. I accepted his ailment and asked God for guidance.

Unless my son is ill, taking care of him is not an issue for me. The worst-case scenario is when he gasps for air and has difficulty breathing, necessitating a trip to the hospital emergency room. I'm frightened since I see him almost black and blue on occasion. I've got the sense that my heart is going to jump out of my mouth when I'm terrified. At this point, all I can do is cry and pray. It breaks my heart to see him in such a state. I could determine he was hurting inside when he looked at me, I saw tears stream down his cheeks, and my heart ached for him, but I had to hide my sorrow.

My fears still exist, but I am keeping them at bay since I have surrendered them to our Almighty God, I am now as calm and capable of dealing with issues as I was when he was a child. I always believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel. We are all just passersby on Earth. God's love is my only hope for every challenge that I face in this journey.

Thank you @ladiesofhive for this remarkable contest and @joanstewart for this contemplative question.

Thank you for fetching around and checking out the post. Catch you on my next blog.

Namaste,
@diosarich 💞